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| Cyndi - 2006-03-28 7:42 AM
Peter Mac - 2006-03-28 1:44 AM
that's funny....yes that was it. It absolutely was a bait ploy to attract women.  how many ladies are interested?
What woman in their right mind is going to be interested in a *SMASHED* Penis????? Sorry, couldn't resist that one, 
Well.... it is BIGGER that way! 
<---- Normal size, does own adjustments. |
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| Ah Cyndi, I know youre very pure and that you've had limited experience with men so I figure I best tell you the smashing is a temporary thing. Our delicate parts, while very sensitive to pain, are very resiliant and spring back after temporary smashing. |
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| You call it "smashed" I call it "vacuum packed for freshness" |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 5098
 
Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | Okay BB, well I had this vision of a smashed penis something to the effect of the old mamogram machines...like "smashed tits". That's not a pretty site and it certainly doesn't feel to good either. It's worst than your school teacher dragging you down the hall by your left ear, or like when a horse steps on your toes...even with your steel toed boots on,
Kristen - You baaaad girl you, |
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| Tourist, you are so funny!
I thought I was the only one who thinks these posts are salacious!
Ha ha hahahahahahah!!! I'm still laughing.....oh, I'm so big in the crotch it's difficult to go through life hahhahahahahahahahahah!!!!! oh, I need to use 2 hands to adjust so I hope no one notices! hahahahahaha
sorry for being so obnoxious but it's really funny to me
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| Fifi's right, I find that I don't have to adjust "the boys" in a room full of women.
Instead I just mention my high flying career as a stock trader-media mogul-brain surgeon and the women come running. Which is a good thing because my huge stacks of loose cash make it very hard for them to get to me. Luckily the small cambodian village of people I saved from the tidal wave manage my appointments for me while I'm busy hob-nobing with the president about how to arrange peace in the mideast. But then everybody has to make small sacrifices in the name of Enlightenment, so I take one of the poor dears out. Did I mention that I'm better looking than Brad Pitt?
Edited by GreenJello 2006-03-28 10:26 PM
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| And just sooo modest with it too. Hardly changed him at all my dears, all that success
Fee |
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| Orbilia - 2006-03-29 4:36 AM
And just sooo modest with it too. Hardly changed him at all my dears, all that success
Well... I do have my people do the adjustment now, instead of doing it myself. For the most part everybody's so different, I haven't changed. |
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| I guess Bikram never noticed this smashing problem, because he has balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each. |
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| designaire - 2006-03-29 10:09 AM
I guess Bikram never noticed this smashing problem, because he has balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each.
As we all know, atoms are very small, even if you do have 100 of them. |
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| a-ha ha hahahahahahahahh!
oh, beHAVE! |
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| C'mon guys, you are acting like someone just walked up last week and stapled this thing to your crotch. It's been there your whole life! As has gravity. It's not rocket science to figure out the rest, but....
If it has mass it has weight. If you wear loose fitting shorts it's weight and our old friend gravity is all you need to keep things out of harm's way. One of the examples mentioned was garudasana. This is just bad form or bad mechanics. Sure, if you fling your hip out to the side and smash it around then yeah, there's a chance old henry gets caught in the thigh vice. So don't do that. If you practice control getting into the asana, turn the thigh in just a little before bringing it over, and keep your thighs fairly close together, you literally pick up the whole package with the leading edge of your thigh and push it out front, free and clear of any crushing.
The dhanurasana thing is just a little scary. I'm having a hard time imagining how you get into dhanurasana in such a way that this could be a problem. Still.... if you come down onto the mat with a slight forward motion gravity will keep biff and the bozos lagging just a bit behind your torso so that when you are completely flat on your stomach everything is pointed toward your feet and safely out of the way. Unless, of course, in a moment of experimentation you have somehow superglued herman the helmet to your bellybutton.... but that's not really a yoga issue. An issue, yes. But not a yoga issue.
Really, getting into any asana without a groping adjustment is just a matter of awareness. Even something like hanumanasana.... the splits. You just make sure that as you approach the point where mr. happy comes into contact with the mat that you are able to move slightly backward... a little dip of the hip can get enough of a swing going that you are able to lay the entire contents of your package neatly in front of you... again without risk of testicular compaction or public fondling charges.
As for the size thing... that is so relative it hurts. I remember being 17 and still playing legion ball... baseball. I had the good fortune of having a few dates with a certain woman that seemed promising and we had plans for me to come over to her place one night. I had a game that night as well that ran late, so rather than rushing home I just went straight to her place wearing a pair of shorts and a tshirt that I had on under my uniform. When I got there... nearly an hour late... she met me at the door in a little lace thingy... you get the idea. Anyway, it wasn't long before my shorts were around my ankles and I noticed a rather perplexed look on her face as she was looking at me. Finally she spoke...
"That thing is just like a mud snake"
Brimming with confidence I said "that big huh?"
She quickly answered....
"No hon, dirty. Why don't you go hop in the shower."
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
 
Location: A Blue State | "That thing is just like a mud snake"
Brimming with confidence I said "that big huh?"
She quickly answered....
"No hon, dirty. Why don't you go hop in the shower." That's too funny! But I have to add that Hanumanasana has never been a problem for me. It's mainly prone backbends, like Shalabasana or Rajakapotasana, where the pelvic bone is rolling, that are a problem. Especially if I'm in tight shorts..
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| Tsaklis,
That's friggin hysterical!!! You dirty,dirty boy! |
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| Ace.... the tears are rolling down my legs |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| There is so much I would love to add to this thread, especially after Steven's post, but I am laughing way too hard.... |
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| BG,
Again, it's the tight shorts issue. Yoga is all about freedom of movement, brother. You can't be binding things up, that goes against the whole concept. When you smush everything up into a tight package like that our old buddy gravity gets taken out of the equation. This is the same thing we've been hearing from the women about bras during their practice. I'm sorry, but if you can't just relax and let it be when you're practicing yoga, then when can you? And I don't mean you specifically, BG, but really everyone who has responded to this thread. This is yoga! Yes, yes, I know that yoga means "to bind".... but not like thaaaaaaaat. |
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| I find the tight shorts actually work best. With the boxers there's too much room, and it's distracting. |
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Location: Upstate NY | GreenJello - 2006-03-30 4:15 PM
I find the tight shorts actually work best. With the boxers there's too much room, and it's distracting. Don't forget a tissue or three gently waded down the front either...... |
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| Oh, I go for the cucumber, ala Spinal Tap.
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State | Of course, for some of us the risk is simply that we might accidentally chip the pelvic bone or crack a femur.... |
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Smashed Penis during Bikram
