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| So I am taking over a class tomorrow night and the studio owner warned me that there is a student in it that has already changed her "yoga night" due to a shift in teachers. I guess this woman completely blew up at the poor teacher - right in the middle of class!
This same woman is renound for throwing fits if she doesn't get "her space" and will move other students belongings if they are there, or she will hang over them like a hawk until they get uncomfortable and move.
The bigger issue to that is when I first started at the studio, about a year ago, I took the womans spot - twice - and when she threw fits about it I looked at her and said "its just a spot, really!"... I didn't realize that she had some sort of mental ownership over it, and its not a huge studio, so there's not much room to go!
I just don't want that negative energy in my class and I am prepared to ask her to leave if she says anything.
Is this the right thing to do? I can't let her hijack my class emotionally and physically! |
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| What a head case.
I'm interested to hear what the teachers have to say. As a student, I sure wouldn't want her in my class. She sounds disruptive.
Would it be the studio owner's place to speak with her? The owner risks ticking her off and losing her business, but I'd rather try and smooth her rough edges than start losing other students because they don't want to be in class with her. |
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| the owner knows what she is like - and other teachers have had no experience becasue she will only take classes by the owner - but like most owners - she wants to free up time to do the day to day part of running a business...
She knows she may lose her - but what about the students this crazy woman has put off of the studio by behaving the way she does...
The owner said she doesn't really care what happens - this woman was one of her first clients when she opened 6 years ago, so i guess she has a feeling of ownership...
I just want to make it as painless as possible and not disturb the energy in the class... I put a lot of energy in ensuring it is a good yet calm practise for them... and I don't want to be on edge or be too sensitive knowing this could happen... |
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| I would stay out of her way and leave it at that if i was a student. I supoose you could try and talk to her about non-dependance and all that?
Edited by DownwardDog 2006-02-13 9:46 AM
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| If it were me, and knew there would be trouble, I'd talk with the woman ahead of time (via phone if possible) and enlist her into "helping" me with the class. "I know you've been part of this studio since near the beginning and the other students look to you as the veteren. What ideas do you have that might make the class go smoothly? Is there anything I could do to make it better for you?"
Something like that. Perhaps from that, depending on her attitude and the way the conversation goes, you can instil in her that her behavior will set the tome for others--and of course she'll want to be the model to emulate. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 5098
 
Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | Yep, and after what Bruce said...get the woman as close as possible, then you have a chance to throw out *ideas*.....you know yoga *etiquette* ideas, but in an intimate and loving way. More importanly, in a way that you will find that she will accept and not get pissed off, therefore, enabling her to have a better practice with acceptance of being in a different spot and maybe to get along with others better, for herself, etc. If that didn't work....then you would have to take a good look at your own tolerance level and weigh out how things are going within the group as a whole. If it was effecting the entire group, then I would bring out the big guns and let her have it more sternly, but lovingly. If she has been around for 6 years that's plenty long to get to a comfort level of some sort. |
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| but the issue isn't anything except that the owner won't be teaching. She doesn't like anyone else and won't even give them a chance - much like her spot in class - she has declaired ownership over the instructor as well...
come to think of it I wonder if this is the instructors way of telling her to either put up or perhaps leave. There's nothing i personally can do to make it better - simply because I am not the one instructor she likes.
Can I lovingly show her the door? ;) |
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| In that case I agree it's the owners job to handle it--let the woman know she ain't teaching and stay the he11 away. |
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| i agree with bruce in both directions.
since the student prefers a specific teacher, have that teacher tell her that the schedule is changing. have that teacher talk to her about the situation and settle it outside of your class. So, ask the person in charge of this to deal with it.
If the student insists on coming to the class, i would ask her politely to stay near the door in case she feels the need to leave, such that she can leave discreetly. I often make an announcement at the beginning of class that if you feel that you need to leave, please leave quietly as not to bother the other students.
When i've been surprised by the behavoir of a student, i do not engage. I've had a student stand up and say something nasty (and loud) in class, and i went over to her and said "you always have the option of leaving; if you choose to do this, please do so with respect to the other students in the class." or something to this effect. I speak low and calm, and then continue with the class as if nothing happened. It doesn't have to ruin the energy of the class at all. If i happen to be on the other side of the room, i make a joke "there are two doors and two windows; take your pick!" If it doesn't ruffle you, it won't ruffle the students--and most will giggle.
Also, when a student behaves in this way, it has a way of galvenizing other students. I was an assistant in a class for a year or three, and everyone knew me pretty well. We had four new students in the class, and one was an absolute bear. First, he never said he didn't want adjustments--and it was my job to adjust them. Then, he started getting gruff about things, and i asked him if he didn't want adjustments. He said "no, adjustments are fine" even though he was fighting them. Finally, he popped and started screaming at me (even though i'd not adjusted him for a long while, and i only gave a small verbal instruction). I simply said "ok, calm down. it's nothing to get over excited about." and while i was flustered, i continued as if nothing happened. It turns out that the only people who actually remember the incident, were the 5 or so students on either side of him--most of them my regulars, and the new students. These students, after class, were very supportive and apologetic for him--saying tht i didn't deserve to be treated like that, and one of my male students "had words" with him in the changing room. When i later took over that class, these ten students (the other 3 or 4 beginners having continued with the class) were the backbone of my teaching support when i first took over the class, demonstrating their esteem for me and my teaching.
So, a problem student can be a blessing in other ways, even if that person leaves in a hurry. And, just as a side note, i have asked students to leave, i've sent them to other teachers, and i've been responsible (even though the studio owner should have done it himself) for asking people to leave the studio. So, these are all appropriate too, after a great deal of consideration. |
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| Thanks so much for all your help and feedback!
After all this and the student didn't even show up! 
One of the teachers who I admire greatly taught the class before me, so she stayed and took my class, not only for support, but she told me afterwards it was to help with administration and anything the may have happened, so she was watching out for me.
One thing that does kinds urk me the wrong way is when the studio owner came back after my class, she asked the other teacher - "so.. did she show up? what happened" almost like she wanted something to happen, some sort of drama.
the owner is really great at what she does - but she doesn't live to the 8 limbs whatsoever, she knows them by heart, but does't practise them, but I still found it quite annoying - that along with her asking the teacher "how I did" right in front of me.
But its over and the class was great! |
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| shnen - 2006-02-15 8:16 AM
One thing that does kinds urk me the wrong way is when the studio owner came back after my class, she asked the other teacher - "so.. did she show up? what happened" almost like she wanted something to happen, some sort of drama.
Well, it's an interesting situation, and no matter what happens she's going to be a part of it, so naturally she was curious. You might be right about wanting drama though.
the owner is really great at what she does - but she doesn't live to the 8 limbs whatsoever, she knows them by heart, but does't practise them, but I still found it quite annoying - that along with her asking the teacher "how I did" right in front of me.
Not sure what this means. It's pretty hard NOT to practice the Yamas and Niyamas, it's just difficult to practice them above (or below) your society's standards.
Edited by GreenJello 2006-02-15 10:15 AM
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| hmmm... how do I say this without sounding judgemental...
She is an awesome teacher - but I don't think she buys into the energy part of yoga. I am trying to constantly watch myself and improve myself, and she is more focused on the physical/western aspect side of things. She will have a fight in the space that we use to practise while students are there, myself among other teaches have mentioned to her that the negativity really effects the room and she should try to refrain from this, or be mindful of where she has these fights, but she gets mad and ignores us.
She is a fitness instructor first - and a great one at that - learning my yoga from her was definately a wonderful experience because I learned not only how to do and teach to poses, but I also learned the anatomy, bones, muscles, nerves & joints - all very important things you should know when teaching yoga... however, when I took the class she told me - I don't do meditation or anything like that. That is how I found my meditation instructor, with whom I am doing a certification program through.
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| shnen - 2006-02-15 10:01 AM
She is an awesome teacher - but I don't think she buys into the energy part of yoga. I am trying to constantly watch myself and improve myself, and she is more focused on the physical/western aspect side of things. She will have a fight in the space that we use to practise while students are there, myself among other teaches have mentioned to her that the negativity really effects the room and she should try to refrain from this, or be mindful of where she has these fights, but she gets mad and ignores us.
Ignorance is a wonderful defense for the vaguarities of difference energies flying around.
For that matter, just not giving it a lot of mind is good when dealing with stuff you don't want. I used to be very obsessed about what energy was going around, where it was coming from, and going, etc. After a while it can become an unhealthy obsession.
You're correct you don't want a huge fight or something in the middle of the studio, but at the same time you don't want to worry about it after one has occured. By worrying about it you end up feeding even more stuff into it. You also might be encouraging her to continue her behavior by making an issue of having fights in the studio.
Ignoring the whole spiritual side of things, having fights in front of the customers is just bad business, IMHO. Sometimes these things are unavoidable, but if they are avoidable, then it's a best not to give people a bad impression. Maybe instead of appealing to her on a level she doesn't respect, maybe you should point out the customer relations side.
She is a fitness instructor first - and a great one at that - learning my yoga from her was definately a wonderful experience because I learned not only how to do and teach to poses, but I also learned the anatomy, bones, muscles, nerves & joints - all very important things you should know when teaching yoga... however, when I took the class she told me - I don't do meditation or anything like that. That is how I found my meditation instructor, with whom I am doing a certification program through.
Well at least she's honest about where she's coming from, and what you can expect from her. One of the local studio owners is a fitness guy, which I can understand. I enjoy his classes, and don't expect a lot of OMing, so no biggie. Same thing with one of the other instructors, she's just not that into the spiritual side, or at least not talking about it in class. One day this might change, or it might not. In the meantime I don't feel that their approaches effect my practice, so I don't worry much about it.
BTW, there are cert programs for meditation? That's just odd to me, since it's pretty unmeasurable, IMHO. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 5098
Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | You guys are so funny dilly dollying around with this problem student. I would just cut to the chase. The owner should call the woman out to have a cup of chai or coffee and tell her what she thinks and inform her about yoga etiquette and manners!!! That's what I would do. If you're a Yoga teacher, you should be able to have some kind of relationship with your student...6 years, give me a break!!
Once before class started, my Yoga teacher/owner pulled me aside before I went into the restroom after her. She said, that smell is not from me, it is from one of the other ladies in the class. She went on to further say that she had informed this particular student about cleanliness and taking showers. She then told me she was going to talk to her again.
This whole incident was handled very privately and discretely without embarrassment on any of the parties. If you are going to walk and talk your practice you better learn how to deal with people and different situations. Being Diplomatic is an art that most people are just so dam afraid of and it is so silly.
So, the moral of the story is, invite me to the class, when I get done with her, that *problem* student will never do that again, she might disappear for a while from humiliation and/or from being pissed off, but she will be back a few weeks later, very humbled and much nicer 
I just love natural justice,  |
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| GreenJello - 2006-02-15 10:28 AM
BTW, there are cert programs for meditation? That's just odd to me, since it's pretty unmeasurable, IMHO.
Yes, its for teaching it. As you probably know there are tons of types of medtations from many different backgrounds, and many emotional things can happen when one becomes, or works towards becoming silent, and as the instructor guiding a yoga class you need to know how to deal with issues that may arise.
My classes cover a deeper aspect of yoga, and gets into breathwork, different meditations for different purposes, as well as various backgrounds, and covering anything that students may ask about. Its quite nice to experience a much deeper side toYoga that you couldn't really get out of books. For instance - we are learning sanskrit, how to speak it properly (or with a canadian accent as my instructor says), and how to be of service to the community, etc. To teach you have to know how to guide properly, so yes - there is a fascilitator course, and it will be the first one registered through the Yoga Alliance.
As far as the problem student goes - it is hard since I am new and being dragged into a situation that was never handled properly from the beginning. The fact that the owner discusses it in front of many other people irritates me since to me it should be done in private - and with the person she has an issue with. She would rather aviod then deal with it.
If it were my studio and my client being disruptive it would be a different story.
Furthermore - as far as the owner goes, not getting obsessed about the energy that is around, but the students can tell, whether tuned into that sort of thing or not - they can feel the tension in the air, many have noted how it feels strange or funny, not right in the room after she has had a fight. I agree this shouldn't effect their practise, but not everyone is at the level of 'knowledge' on what yoga really is besides an exercise. It's not me I am concerned about - but for students who pay a good price for a nice calming relaxing experience, they should be able to get their moneys worth - whether they "get" energy or not. |
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| shnen - 2006-02-15 11:07 AM
My classes cover a deeper aspect of yoga, and gets into breathwork, different meditations for different purposes, as well as various backgrounds, and covering anything that students may ask about. Its quite nice to experience a much deeper side toYoga that you couldn't really get out of books. For instance - we are learning sanskrit, how to speak it properly (or with a canadian accent as my instructor says), and how to be of service to the community, etc. To teach you have to know how to guide properly, so yes - there is a fascilitator course, and it will be the first one registered through the Yoga Alliance.
Sounds pretty cool! I'd almost be tempted to visit Canada just to try it out.
Furthermore - as far as the owner goes, not getting obsessed about the energy that is around, but the students can tell, whether tuned into that sort of thing or not - they can feel the tension in the air, many have noted how it feels strange or funny, not right in the room after she has had a fight.
I'm not necessarily saying that there's nothing there, but rather suggesting a different approach for dealing with it. Most people have some understanding of energy, whether they understand it conciously or not.
I agree this shouldn't effect their practise, but not everyone is at the level of 'knowledge' on what yoga really is besides an exercise. It's not me I am concerned about - but for students who pay a good price for a nice calming relaxing experience, they should be able to get their moneys worth - whether they "get" energy or not.
Sure, the question is how to deal with the issue. So you might acknowledge that things are a little funky, and then attempt to direct the students towards putting their attention on something more positive, and attempt to direct the class's energy out of the ugliness. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 418
Location: New York | shnen - 2006-02-15 10:01 AM
She will have a fight in the space that we use to practise while students are there, myself among other teaches have mentioned to her that the negativity really effects the room and she should try to refrain from this, or be mindful of where she has these fights, but she gets mad and ignores us.
Who is she fighting with?! |
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| with her boyfriend - who she always fights with and hangs up on him and breaks up with him at least 3 times a month. I have asked her before why she stays with him - but he will take her on a cruise or buy her a tv and a dvd, and they are back together again. He is nice, but honestly I don't like them together - it doesn't take a genious to see its a very distructive relationship...
And GreenJello... its not me that is teaching, its me as a student and she will fight before she teaches, so I really have no control of that. I just try to ignore it and try to not let it become an issue - that makes it wrse for the other students.
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| shnen - 2006-02-15 1:26 PM
with her boyfriend - who she always fights with and hangs up on him and breaks up with him at least 3 times a month. I have asked her before why she stays with him - but he will take her on a cruise or buy her a tv and a dvd, and they are back together again. He is nice, but honestly I don't like them together - it doesn't take a genious to see its a very distructive relationship...
Yup sounds pretty ugly. OTOH, some people seem to get off on having very public fights.
And GreenJello... its not me that is teaching, its me as a student and she will fight before she teaches, so I really have no control of that. I just try to ignore it and try to not let it become an issue - that makes it wrse for the other students.
That is ugly, maybe you should take a different class? |
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| I have - but I still can't help but have empathy for the paying students, and for the owner as well - she could not only be in a distructive relationship personally - but it could destroy her business as well... |
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| shnen - 2006-02-15 2:17 PM
I have - but I still can't help but have empathy for the paying students, and for the owner as well - she could not only be in a distructive relationship personally - but it could destroy her business as well...
Well, is there anything you can do? If not let it go. (Harder than it sounds, I know) |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 5098
Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | shnen - 2006-02-15 2:17 PM
I have - but I still can't help but have empathy for the paying students, and for the owner as well - she could not only be in a distructive relationship personally - but it could destroy her business as well...
I can't understand why you would be so concerned with this owner's obvious learning experience with her studio. It sounds to me like you are trying to own something that does not belong to you. I say, walk away, run as fast as you can. This is also the student's learning experience as well. Like, if it really bothered the students, either they don't show up to class or they express their dissatisfaction to the owner. This is where meddling in affairs that don't concern us can be very troublesome and conflicting. This is just part of the terrain of having a business. Some business's are more successful than others. If you are that close to her, then say something to her and then walk away. She may hate you, get very mad at you, and/or she may take your advise...it's a gamble. You never know how people are going to react to things. Which is why it is probably best to let things be and let her have her experience with her student. |
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| no - you guys are right - I have to unattach myself from the situation and just do the classes I love and teach when I am supposed to.
Thanks for all the advice... I just hate seeing people destroy things they have worked hard for  , but you guys are so right.... thanks for making me realize I have to back away! |
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problem students....
