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Christmas Memories.....
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Cyndi
Posted 2006-12-01 8:41 PM (#70795)
Subject: Christmas Memories.....



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Okay, I want to start this thread since we are talking about Christmas decorating and we are I think offically into the holiday season now, close enough.

Some of the things I would like to reflect on is this, not limited to, of course. 1) What are your most important memories surrounding Christmas? 2)What are some of the things that have either disturbed, bothered, touched you magically during this time of year? i.e. these could be issues involving family, divorce, marriage, death, birth and so on. 3) What things have you totally felt you have resolved or NOT in your life, perhaps resulting from question number 2., that have made you enjoy or not enjoy the Holiday season. Sound good??

I'll go first and then add more later.

Well, when I was a child I loved Christmas. I loved the whole idea and everything. My family was very poor one Christmas. My parents had no way of buying gifts for us. So, our church friends brought over some gifts for us and we had Christmas Day. It was very special and I didn't feel bad or any of those things, it just was the way things were.

Then as I got older, I noticed that the holidays were starting to take on a new meaning. It was so commercialized and phony. It just didn't seem to have the same authenticity as when I was a child. These were things I had to accept of course, but it brought some heartache along with it. For instance, through my life I went through 2 Divorce's at Christmas, and several relationship break ups during that time. By this time I was HATING this stupid holiday.

Then my daughter was born. She was expected on December 24, and came on the 8th instead. Which gave me the time I needed to prepare for Christmas. This totally changed my perception of Christmas and it had so much meaning after this. That is why I named her Kristina. (she'll kill me if she ever reads this...like Mom, don't tell my name to those yoga.com people on the internet!!)

Then 5 years later, my Mother died the day after my daughter's birthday. This too changed my perception, yet again, of this holiday. But, not in a negative way which some people automatically assume it is bad, but it is not. So, from that point on, I decided that Christmas was a great time to reflect on life and death and just how short our little lives actually were. I began not to celebrate Christmas in the traditional way. Instead, I began to celebrate life and death. I decided it was time for me to do what was comfortable and nurturing for me and my family. It's really interesting because it makes it so more worth while with meaning that makes sense...finally!!

These days, I don't get stressed out over the holidays, in fact, I simply use this time to reflect and take a break from the world. It's a beautiful time of the year to just simply be. A time to also NOT do anything that you DON'T want to DO everything that you DO want to. I call it *Holiday Krishivasana*. So, everybody, I sincerely wish you all a very HAPPY KRISHIVASANA, as my DD would say....Kris with a K!!!

Edited by Cyndi 2006-12-01 9:01 PM
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samantha77
Posted 2006-12-02 10:40 AM (#70821 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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Cyndi, What a great thread!

My favorite Christmas memory is with my Grandfather.  My family owns a small farmer's market stand, which used to be a big farm.  Around Christmastime, they would sell Christmas trees and wreaths.  My Grandfather made all of the wreaths.  Every year, after Thanksgiving, his big table in the basement would become full with pine branches, all the little decorations and bows that he would put on, and the wire frames that he would use to make the wreaths.  To this day, the smell of pine creates a very vivid flashback for me.  To the point that the other day when I smelled a pine candle from the Yankee candle store, I actually got a little misty eyed  Every evening after dinner, my Grandfather would go down to the basement and work on his wreaths.  I would go down with him and play.  When I got a little older, I wanted to make them too, and although I was wasting supplies to make a wreathes that could never be sold, he didn't care.  He always told me the ones I made were perfect.  I remember one day, we had brought the completed wreaths down to the stand, and one I made got mixed in with the bunch.  Someone picked it up out of the cart and brought it up to my grandfather to buy.  He told them that his granddaughter made that one, and he thought it was the best one.  He looked so proud when he said it, that this moment has stuck with me since then.  If I ever need a confidence boost, I usually think about that moment.  My grandparents made Christmas so perfect, and so magic every year, but making wreaths with my Grandfather is my favorite memory.  After he died someone else took it over, and I stopped doing it.  I absolutely cannot smell pine with out tearing up a little bit.  The woman who works at the Yankee Candle store must think I'm nuts!

Samantha

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tourist
Posted 2006-12-02 10:52 AM (#70823 - in reply to #70821)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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Samantha! What a lovely story I think of dear old Grandad at this time of the year as well. We used to go for a walk on Christmas Eve and look at the lights. I loved to spend time with him.

Cyndi - I think your stories illustrate the value of these holidays even for those who object to the current commerciality (is that a word?) and seem to disagree with the whole concept. They are markers in our lives and signposts of how and when things happen in our families. My husband's birthday is Dec. 27th, his Dad died a few years ago on Dec.22nd. How different my kid's 1st Christmases were because one was born in September and one in the middle of November... My son won't be coming home this year from Montreal so this will be the first year without both kids at home. Of course we'll miss him, but it will be another milestone for us and everythign will now be measured with that as a mark on the family time line.

Oh - another Grandad story. When I was about 17 I had a wretched cold at Christmas. Grandad sent me home with a VERY strong hot toddy of some sort so I could sleep. I was not impressed when my younger brothers woke me up at 3 am to fill the parental stockings...
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Posted 2006-12-02 1:07 PM (#70831 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


this sounds good to me!

1) What are your most important memories surrounding Christmas?

most of my christmas memories have to do with our family rituals around the holidays. there weren't a lot of parties and we didn't live near family, so most of our christmases were intimate and low-key. we had strange little traditions like having pizza for christmas eve dinner followed by a drive to see people's christmas decorations. then, we'd go home and watch The Bishop's Wife. We'd go to bed (more or less) and my parents would do santa. the next day, we'd do presents, have a simple breakfast, go to church, and come home to have a nice christmas brunch.

as we got older, traditions changed (no pizza--we do our fancy dinner on the eve, because ryan and i go to his parents for christmas dinner; we don't go around and see the lights, instead we go to a place that is lit such as Longwood Gardens--http://www.longwoodgardens.com), and now my sister and i "do santa" for our parents and they "do santa" for us.

2)What are some of the things that have either disturbed, bothered, touched you magically during this time of year? i.e. these could be issues involving family, divorce, marriage, death, birth and so on.

i really don't have any extreme experiences regarding the christmas season. it's one of my favorite religious seasons--i like "high seasons" over 'ordinary time' in the litergical calendar overall.

though i would say that having two households to visit for the holidays is difficult. it has really 'mucked up' the spiritual/religious aspects for me. in the past, there was a lot of time for prayer, contemplation, scriptural reading, meditation while gazing at the tree (in all of it's meanings) and the nativity (in all of it's meanings). nowadays, there's less time for this because of all the driving that we do to relative's homes. it's a little sad for me--because i'd like it to follow the litiergical calendar, but i've moved the meditations up and out and spread them around--and i still do them but not at the long, slow pace that i used to--because of all of the rush to be here and get there and get this or that done before we go.

this year is also kinda special for us. ryan and i feel that it may be the last christmas here, so we're dong a lot of our community and annual events that we do "for the last time" or with that sort of sentiment. it's kinda cool. we're looking forward to the FireBird burning on Dec 16--phoenixville has a huge FireBird celebration for Dec---and then they 'ressurect' or start to rebuild the firebird on new year's day. it's a really cool celebration. So, we're happy about that.

and then there's another layer of meaning. In my processes of preparing for motherhood--allof the reading, etc, that i'm doing--i notice the wisdom of an Old Wise Tale that says "a woman must walk through her death, to bring forth life." this journey toward birthing is a spiritual heroine's journey, and a powerful process of change in a woman's spiritual univerise.

with the birth of Jesus, mary is going through this process. This year, my focus is not so much on the incarnation theology of jesus, but on the vibrant walk of Mary becoming mother and going through this birth process--without doctors or midwives, without specialized personelle, without her MIL, and simply on her own, with her husband, in a vibrant walk of faith that started the moment that she accepted the pregnancy.

for me, this has been a powerful meditation process on my own walk, and what i, too, must face if/when i choose to give birth. I could die; my child could die. recently, two online friends lost their babies--one stillborn, the other too premature to survive--both had hospital attendants. So it showed me that all of us who choose this walk must confront it. And perhaps surviving it--both in tact--is part of the miracle of christmas, and not surviving it is the power of the process spiritually and personally.

So, mary's walk is particularly potent to me, currently.

3) What things have you totally felt you have resolved or NOT in your life, perhaps resulting from question number 2., that have made you enjoy or not enjoy the Holiday season?

i am having trouble balancing my own spiritual needs with the needs of family members in regards to timing the holiday. my mother wants this, my mil wants that. i understand their wants/needs--but i struggle with that. i sympathize and want them to express their care and i want to reciprocate that in a way that they understand. I do not always succeed--and so this is a sort of continual balance for me.

similarly, balancing the time needs of others with my own time needs is challengng.
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joscmt
Posted 2006-12-02 2:43 PM (#70833 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


What a great topic! I love to read everyone's stories..
For me, Christmas is all about family. My memories are of the Christmas music my Mom would play around the holiday- Elvis, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, etc. We do our big celebration on Christmas Eve- dinner and presents- so we can go visiting on the 25th. It's a really mellow, fun time. Each year, my family draws names for ornaments. We then buy an ornament that is something indicative of that person's year... for instance, my nephew was born this year- so last year, my SIL got a Mommy-to-Be ornament.. it's a really fun tradition and we do it secret santa style. We also pick a night to drive around to look at decorations and another for the National Tree..... It's really a lovely time of year... so much love and so much to be grateful for. Basically, Christmas Eve we are all together (12 of us) and then Christmas Day is the day for individual families and in-laws...

Last year, I found out I was pregnant the week before Christmas. I wrapped up a baby sock for my husband to surprise him. We also sent a sock and a book to his folks in WA state.. and wrapped another for my folks. We told everyone on Christmas Eve. My SIL was also pregnant.. so we had a mommy-to-be filled Christmas.. it was wonderful. My beautiful nephew was born in May. Unfortunately, as many of you know, I lost mine in January... so I'm having some mixed feelings this year... I was hoping to be a mommy by now. We were looking forward to baby's first Christmas... but we do have one this year, my nephew! And I can truly say now that I believe everything happens for a reason and maybe someone upstairs wanted my nephew to have the attention this year... and maybe it will happen again for us soon. I'm happy that I can place my focus on Van (my nephew)... he's too cute! Talk about two extremes- exquisite joy over him, and extreme sadness over the miscarriage..... but I know there is a bigger plan for me. So I pray for acceptance everyday..
I look forward to a new year and new beginnings and I think this Christmas season is the time for it. I'm tearing up just writing this....
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bstqltmkr
Posted 2006-12-02 3:39 PM (#70836 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


JosieCometGirl, you keep on staying strong. Your life sounds so intense sometimes, I hope you have enough moments of calm for balance.

Some of my favorite memories are with my children. We had a slumber party one time when all the girls made Christmas ornaments, which we still have. Most of our ornaments were made by us, and also some were made by my mother and grandmothers. I love those ones the best.

Also, I remember being all excited on Christmas eve, and playing outside with my brother and sister. We grew up in the perfect spot for winter weather. We had a good size hill on the side of our house, and a pond in the back, perfect for skating. Life is good.
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kulkarnn
Posted 2006-12-02 6:59 PM (#70849 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


My second daughter was 9 years old. She had a number of small soft toys. Probably over 100. Each one has a name which she herself gave. We had a guest from my office for the Christmas eve. My daughter made with own hands gift for each of her soft toy and wrapped them. Now, she presented each of the toy their gift like we give a prize on the stage. This took over 2 years, and we all had to clap each toy got that gift. This made us very hungry and then we had our Christmas Eve dinner at midnight or so.

This is difficult to remove from the memory.
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joscmt
Posted 2006-12-02 9:38 PM (#70855 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


bstqltmkr- thanks for the sentiment-- the last couple of years have been really intense.. I've only alluded to the tip of the iceberg--- but, you know what, everyone else has stuff that happens in their lives.. I do have things that bring me back to balance- my husband, my pets, yoga (in fact, this is how I came to yoga), my program. I've now learned healthy ways to cope with the stress- and I'm so grateful for that. But thank you for your support-

I wish you all the happiest of holidays!!
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kulkarnn
Posted 2006-12-02 11:00 PM (#70861 - in reply to #70849)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


kulkarnn - 2006-12-02 6:59 PM

My second daughter was 9 years old. She had a number of small soft toys. Probably over 100. Each one has a name which she herself gave. We had a guest from my office for the Christmas eve. My daughter made with own hands gift for each of her soft toy and wrapped them. Now, she presented each of the toy their gift like we give a prize on the stage. This took over 2 years, and we all had to clap each toy got that gift. This made us very hungry and then we had our Christmas Eve dinner at midnight or so.

This is difficult to remove from the memory.


===> Correction - 2 hours.
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bstqltmkr
Posted 2006-12-03 8:45 AM (#70873 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


Neel, that is such a nice story about your daughters generousity to her extended family. How did she ever keep track of them all? I'm glad it's embedded in your memories.
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mishoga
Posted 2006-12-04 1:21 PM (#70965 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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My friends and family have given me Nutcrackers for many, many years. The special ones are from my children and parents.
Mish
I love my nutcrackers, just had to show them. (There's about 60 on the mantal all sizes) Some about 2 inches tall. I like the tiny ones.
Hey, let me see your decorations people

Edited by mishoga 2006-12-04 1:24 PM




(large nutcracker.JPG)



(nutcrackers.JPG)



Attachments
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Attachments large nutcracker.JPG (35KB - 18 downloads)
Attachments nutcrackers.JPG (29KB - 20 downloads)
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kulkarnn
Posted 2006-12-04 2:33 PM (#70976 - in reply to #70965)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


mishoga - 2006-12-04 1:21 PM

My friends and family have given me Nutcrackers for many, many years. The special ones are from my children and parents.
Mish
I love my nutcrackers, just had to show them. (There's about 60 on the mantal all sizes) Some about 2 inches tall. I like the tiny ones.
Hey, let me see your decorations people


Gee, that looks fantastic. Only if you could heat the NY city to Bikram's Standards, I shall have immediately come there to see this in person, and brought another Nut Cracker to you!
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Posted 2006-12-05 6:32 AM (#71013 - in reply to #70976)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


Mish, the last few years during my routine assault on T.J. Maxx for anything yoga-ish, I've seen they have a pretty nice selection of Steinback German nutcrakers at good prices--should anybody shopping for you this season need to be pointed towards a particular item--Santa can't do this all alone.
Oh, one of my favorite Christmas memories I've just discovered is a new one. As a result of the Getting to Know you Christmas quiz, I discovered I'm part of their favorite Christmas memory. When they were little, Chevy Chase's "Christmas Vacation" movie was out so I would tell the daughters we were off on the "Griswald Family Christmas Light Look" and drive them around the townh to see the lights singing "Joy to the World" in that stupid Clark Griswald voice. So to all, JOY TO THE WORLD!
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Cyndi
Posted 2006-12-05 9:59 AM (#71024 - in reply to #71013)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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BB, I like TJ Maxx too. That's a great store. They have those Chantal Coffee pots for 1/2 the original price. I used to buy those for gifts. They sound like a train when the water starts to boil. My last one got burned up....I was in another part of the house and forgot about it on the stove....you'd think since that thing was so loud, I would've heard...oh well....good thing it was half price huh? Marshall's has good buys too. You just have to splend time there going through it all. I love those kinds of stores.

More Memories....when I was a kid, our church would put on these "Live" Nativity's. Every year me and my sisters & brother would play a part in that. We would have to stand for several hours while people rode by in their cars staring at us. This would go on all night long, every weekend after Thanksgiving till Christmas. It was so hilariously fun sometimes...specially when the sheep would get tired of standing too. I remember once everyone, me (I always got stuck with being one of the three wise men), Joseph, Mary and anyone else including the preacher's dogs, would be chasing sheep around the yard. It was perfect entertainment,

Okay, I'm off to try to fill out my Christmas Quiz now.
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Posted 2006-12-05 11:38 AM (#71032 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


i also liked the live nativities. there's one near lancaster that is VERY involved and has hundreds of people in the cast--they rebuild bethlehem including people on the street as well as animals, and you park your car and walk through the nativity--you can even dress in costumes provided if you'd like--and you walk through the streets of bethlehem where they have people selling food, children and adults playing, singing, and telling stories, people selling different handicrafts (ornaments, blankets, jewelry) and then you can ask "where is the inn's stable?" (because no one knows who Jesus is--except the guy who owns the shop where you can buy pots!--it's cool that guy's n ame is Jesus, brother of James and Mark) and then you wind your way up through the maze of prop buildings and then you see the inn, and there's mary and the baby and an angel above holding a star-shaped lantern!

i don't know if they do it anymore. it was at the theater between lancaster and stroudsburgh. it was a huge production. they do all bible stories all year round, usually in the theater itself of course--but this is on the whole grounds!

we went for two years. it was very, very cool.

when i was a kid, we would look for them and see seven or eight different ones. Some were simple like a little shed with mary, joseph, baby, and some sheep--and others were very elaborate (well, comparitively) with wise men in ornate garb and a number of shepards and sheep, the little drummer boy and the like. they were really nice.

i'll put up pictures of my decorations. i really am happy with this simple decorating bit. i put up what i wanted and left the rest in the box (which is mostly the stuff for a tree, but i decided not to have a tree this year).
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Cyndi
Posted 2006-12-05 12:24 PM (#71039 - in reply to #71032)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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Hey ZB,

I thought about you last night when I drove past the Electric Company. They had so many light decorations and lights period! In fact, it would make your head spin just seeing it all. My first thought was NO Friggin Wonder our electricity bills are so high...especially in the winter, Now that's a waste of Power!!
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Posted 2006-12-05 1:04 PM (#71043 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


it's kinda funny, isn't it?

at the individual level, people can spend their money on powering lights if they want, but who wants to pay for power-company decorations? LOL

i don't mind a small portion of my taxes decorating the town/city though. i always like public decorations that are done tastefully. i watched Rick Steve's European Christmas and the various public decorations across the continent were really cool.
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Posted 2006-12-05 4:55 PM (#71067 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


well, i got one picture of my decorations to go up. these are my santas.

[IMG]http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g279/zoebird/Santas.jpg[/IMG]
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mishoga
Posted 2006-12-05 4:58 PM (#71068 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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I like those a lot! Ohhhhhhh

Mish
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Posted 2006-12-06 10:03 AM (#71114 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


i have others too--but my connection is draggy, so i'm having trouble accessing them. perhaps later, i guess.
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Posted 2006-12-06 10:15 AM (#71118 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


ah, i finally have access:

My Nativity: http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g279/zoebird/Nativity.jpg

My Angel: http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g279/zoebird/Angel.jpg --- i edited it to rotate, but i don't know if it worked.

My Rabbit: http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g279/zoebird/octoberjsemail.jpg --- not technically a christmas decoration, but i think this is cute. He's 'checking his email.'
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SCThornley
Posted 2006-12-06 10:43 AM (#71122 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


My christmas memories........

I remember the first Christmas that I decided to not go to my family or my wife's family on Christmas Day.

It was the most wonderful day, it really helped me and my family gel as a unit and have our identity together.

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tourist
Posted 2006-12-06 10:52 AM (#71125 - in reply to #71122)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....



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SCT - my family was very strict about young families not having to pack up and go out on Christmas Day. If anyone had small kids, we pretty much made the stay home, but often the family gathered at their house. Everyone did part of the meal so the new parents weren't burdened with cooking and cleaning. It was pretty nice

The year my father in law was too ill to even drive the 25 minutes to our house, we made the entire dinner here and drove it all to them. Travelling for half an hour with a cooked turkey smelling sooooo good was a challenge!
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Posted 2006-12-06 3:41 PM (#71144 - in reply to #70795)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


my mom asserts the same idea when we have babies. i do not want to take them on planes for the first two years or so, so they'll have to come to us! that'll be nice.

i always liked nuclear family christmases. that's what we always had.
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SCThornley
Posted 2006-12-06 3:44 PM (#71146 - in reply to #71144)
Subject: RE: Christmas Memories.....


zoebird - 2006-12-06 3:41 PM

i always liked nuclear family christmases. that's what we always had.


me 2
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