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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
  
Location: A Blue State | zoebird - 2006-02-08 4:39 PM
BG:
You ask a lot of great, and interesting, and important questions. So, i'll try to answer them. *fingers crossed*
For me, what would be hard about teaching yoga is not so much the schedules
you've described as the potential repetition of it. Do you find that you are teaching
the same thing again and again, or can you vary and evolve it enough to keep it
interesting?
Because i generally teach all-levels classes, there are many things that i do 'again and again'--but i have a reason for it. I teach a lot of alignment, a lot of vinyasa transitional alignment, and so i focus a great deal on the details of poses. It takes time to gain the requisite strength and balance to learn even some of the most basic poses, and if i have brand-new-beginners in my class, there is a focus on the fundamentals--sometimes heavily modified versions of poses to help balance out the new bodies so that they can get to learning the fundamental postures of the practices that i teach.
Similarly, it can take years to master even the most basic posture. Most students are happy to have repitition--and repitition is important. I make sure that most classes include some of the same postures class to class, though occassionally i'll skip some postures in favor of others depending upon the classes' individual needs. I have some classes that are more advanced/experienced students; i have other classes that are predominently beginners; i have some classes that are in between; and private clients also vary widely.
And do your students stick with it and absorb what you are teaching them?
do they absorb what i'm teaching them? this is a hard question to answer. From an asana perspective, i'd say the answer is yes. As we work on alignment, on sequencing theory, largely thruogh repitition, they do begin to get it. For some postures, it comes quickly, and less so for other postures, depending upon where the individual started out on their path--their body awareness, their fitness and health, injuries and so on. For the more esoteric stuff, it often takes more repitition--but most students start to 'feel it' or 'get it' once they've been practicing two or three years, as they have a firm grasp of the language of the physical body, and begin to move into the more subtle realms of the energy body, perhaps finally grasping the bandhas from an energetic standpoint rather than an anatomical one. The anatomical may have been achieved in a few months or a year or so, but then the esoteric will click after that. Usually, i spend a lot of time repeating the basics of both the anatomical descriptions and the energetic, and those in the class who are ready for whichever one will 'get it' and often share when they get it as well.
So, i guess the short answer is "yes."
Thanks, Zoe --- I do think that the "short answer" is okay!!
I have seen a number of folks in yoga classes who come for a while, and then
drift away, or show once every two months starting from scratch. It's only in my Iyengar
classes that I've seen people who have a focused, regular, and long-term commitment.
Which, of course, makes me wonder about how things are working elsewhere.
....bg |
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| Kabu - 2006-02-09 7:24 PM
GreenJello -
You can do that, I think it depends on how you want to deal with the sh!t. You can either see it coming, and prepare, or get smacked full in the face w/o warning. Ignorance is NOT strength, despite what Orwell would have you believe.
Can't there be a happy medium though? Maybe a place where you can be comfortable and open with people but still spot "crazy" (or "difficult" or whatever adjective you want to give a person ) soon enough to avoid it.
Welll.... maybe. I think I'm starting to get there more and more recently, though it's still hard. The meditation and yoga has help enormously, so maybe it's partially like ZB said, lack of somebody to talk to at the time.
Anyway, part of the problem is just the rawness of it, and part of it was the situations in which I found myself. I went through a very very rough patch about 3 years ago, that went on for about 3-4 years. During that time I was (or felt) stuck in the situations, and couldn't leave, while being very aware of what was going on. I had also just left my teacher of a number of years, so it was a bit like when Luke leaves yoda in Empire to save his friends. His training is half completed, and he's going up against Darth Vader. OTOH, you do have to leave your teacher at some point, and I've yet to met anybody who's even close to being on the same level as him. I'd also learned most of what he had to teach, so I wasn't a complete rookie.
Anyway, the situation was so ugly, I just couldn't deal with it after 3 years. I actually remember the point that I quit. I had just gotten up in the morning, and I was reading a book on Zen before going into work. It was very inspirational, which was putting me in a very meditative mood, when the phone rang. Turns out it was my boss, who just wanted to know if I was coming into the office. WTF? I wasn't late, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary happening, she just called to see if I was coming in. Completely ruined my mood, and there was no real rational explaination for it. I also think it's probably the only time she ever called my apartment in the entire time I worked there.
I don't think it was intentional, or concious, just something that seems to happen when you start along the path. Things rise up to stop you for whatever reason. People get in your way, and act as roadblocks. Maybe it's karma, maybe I was doing something wrong. If it's the latter, I'd like to avoid doing it again. Anyway, this sort of thing always happening to me in Cali, which is that reason I'm glad I left. Silicon Valley's was a very unpleasant place for me to live. (Sorry Bay Guy)
At the point I decided I was going to quit, and not get started until I was in a much better position to defend myself. Fast forward to the present, and I'm back in cincy, and I've got about the lowest pressure job imaginable. Cincy's nice because most people don't know what's going on, and they'll leave you alone for the most part. I've got a 9-5 job, and it never interfers with my yoga, which is wonderful. Never thought I'd find a job like this, and frankly I wouldn't have taken it if I had had another offer. (I had gotten completely the wrong idea from the job interview.) So fate was kind to me.
Back to the meditation. It felt to me like it was partially the cure, and partially the disease. By meditating I was able to help calm myself down, and deal with a lot of the stress that I was under. By the same token it also seemed to cause people to come at me. When I was working at the dot com that moment that I showed the slightest sign of happiness, it appeared like people would sense it, and I'd get mobbed. When I was in a bad mood people left me alone. So it was a bit of a negative feedback loop, and everybody was always stressed out. I'm guess that by giving me a hard time they were able to deal with some of the stress they were under. Unfortunately it just left me with more stress.
To some extent it like robbing rich people. There no reason is messing with an unhappy, stressed out, person they don't have anything you want. It's much better to mess with a calm, happy person, they've got something worth having. I just happened to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time for whatever reason.
Sorry about the book, I just had to get it off my chest. |
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| Actually, I'm glad you wrote all that. I found myself wondering about this thread yesterday on and off.
How long have you been in this new job? Do you feel like there is (or was) a certain amount of time that has to pass before you mentally "decompress" from all the crap you went through? I mean, you can't take that kind constant pressure for such an extended period of time and have it instantly disappear the minute you leave the situation. Meditation and Yoga may be speeding along the process, but it may still take time to "wear off" so to speak.
My husband has been been dealing with various degrees of turmoil for several years, which is why he's getting out too. But it's going to follow him for a bit unfortunately, not just mentally but physically as well (legal issues  Nothing like saving someone's life and getting sued for it. ). So it'll be nipping at his heals for some time.
I love the idea of counseling! I saw a guy last summer for a few months and really liked the whole process. Gotta click with the counselor though (mine was a big, friendly Irish dude  got to a point where I think I was just going for the laughs).
Anyway, I'm happy you escaped the Valley! |
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| Kabu - 2006-02-10 9:43 AM
Actually, I'm glad you wrote all that. I found myself wondering about this thread yesterday on and off.
Thanks, I was wondering. I certainly don't want to lay my sh!t on anybody else, but sometimes you need to talk about this sort of thing.
How long have you been in this new job? Do you feel like there is (or was) a certain amount of time that has to pass before you mentally "decompress" from all the crap you went through?
Well, let me answer that question a little differently. First, I left the Valley in '01. This was after a period of being laid-off and looking for work, at first that wasn't so bad, but after 5-6 months I started to get a little terrified. (I had plenty of money, so that wasn't the issue). Anyway, got a contract position in Rockford, Il, which went on for several months, and then I moved back to Cincy to get a Master's. This took me about 3 years, but about 2 years in I started to run out of money, and had completed most of the thesis, so I got my current job. I've been here about a year and a half, and it's been great. So I've been decompressing from all that nonsense pretty much since I left the valley.
In those periods I also spent a LOT of time by myself, which is very helpful. Most people have their own problems, which they're more than willing to lay on you. So, I had a period after being laid off of doing nothing for about 5-6 months, and then another period after the position in Rockford of about 5-6 months before grad school. During grad school I had to take some classes, but I also had tons of time alone in my apartment working on my thesis. I'm not sure what anybody else's experience with grad work is, but mine was a piece of cake compared to undergrad, so I mainly coasted through it.
Anyway, I didn't have the heart or strength to get started again with meditation and yoga until I got back to cincy, and had gotten establish. Both of them require a certain amount of energy to begin with, since it's a bit like priming a pump, IMHO. But when the time was right things fell into place, and I got started again.
A time line would be something like, 1-2 years out of the valley I started to feel normal, then started on yoga, I've done that for 2 years, and I'm about at the place I was when I left cincy. (Which was pretty far along, IMHO). So maybe 3-4 years to recover from 3-4 bad years? Regardless, it's not like a sudden switch from torn up to alright. The day I got laid-off at the dot-bomb was probably one of the happiest of my life, and things have been steadily improving ever since. I also still have some issues from it, which I'm beginning to get a handle on.
My husband has been been dealing with various degrees of turmoil for several years, which is why he's getting out too. But it's going to follow him for a bit unfortunately, not just mentally but physically as well (legal issues Nothing like saving someone's life and getting sued for it. ). So it'll be nipping at his heals for some time.
Probably. It's not a quick process, it's not unlike a physical problem, except it's a lot harder to see, figure out, and nobody really understands it. When you have an operation, you've got scars, when you deal with constant stress and other psychological BS most people can't tell. (I can tell, most people here probably can, but not most unaware people.)
I think yoga and mediation both help with these sorts of situations because it provides a stable form of stress and nastiness reduction. Just having faith that yoga is going to fix things resolves a lot of anxiety over dealing with the issues. If your husband is interested, I'd strongly advise some yoga.
I love the idea of counseling! I saw a guy last summer for a few months and really liked the whole process. Gotta click with the counselor though (mine was a big, friendly Irish dude got to a point where I think I was just going for the laughs ).
I agree on clicking with a counselor, it's just not going to work otherwise.
Anyway, I'm happy you escaped the Valley!
Me too! It's really unfortunate, I think the Valley used to be a very cool place, and all the greedy people have moved in recently and made a mess of the place. My uncle used to live there, ever since 89, and he finally said to heck with it about a year ago, and moved to New Hampshire, which he loves. |
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| If your husband is interested, I'd strongly advise some yoga.
Oy, I wish. He won't touch it with a ten foot pole.
He's struggling on all kinds of levels: physically, mentally, spiritually. I know this transition won't happen overnight, but I'm really looking forward to starting the process. I believe better things for him lay ahead.
If he were to try a few classes at our studio, I'd have to bow out. He knows exactly what will crack me up and cannot resist doing so. I can't even get through a practice at home if he's in the room.
Still...I'd happily move aside to make space for him. *sigh* Seeing you make a similar transition gives me great hope! |
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| Kabu - 2006-02-10 11:06 AM
If your husband is interested, I'd strongly advise some yoga.
Oy, I wish. He won't touch it with a ten foot pole.
Lot of guys are like that because they don't know any better. Personally I get my kicks from doing things I'm not supposed to, so a yoga class is perfect. You might try showing him some pics of some cut male yogis. Dave Swenson comes to mind.
He's struggling on all kinds of levels: physically, mentally, spiritually. I know this transition won't happen overnight, but I'm really looking forward to starting the process. I believe better things for him lay ahead.
If he's still struggling then maybe the best thing is just to concentrate on getting out of the current situation. Learning something new can just add to your stress levels in some cases. While yoga and meditation help, you do need to be at a certain level to recieve the benifts. Otherwise it can just make a bad situation worse. Not only are you struggling with the current situation, but also with the problems and difficulties that can crop up with meditation and yoga.
If he were to try a few classes at our studio, I'd have to bow out. He knows exactly what will crack me up and cannot resist doing so. I can't even get through a practice at home if he's in the room.
Nothing wrong with a little laughter in the studio. Sometimes I think the local yogis are a little too grim about the whole thing. It's just yoga, you can't screw it up. If you can, there isn't any hope, so we might as well stay home and watch TV with the rest of the zombies.
Still...I'd happily move aside to make space for him. *sigh* Seeing you make a similar transition gives me great hope!
Thanks! It's possible, things will get better, though it's hard to see it at the time. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 418
Location: New York | To get back to the topic at hand . . . does anyone else teach lots of classes per week? If so, what's your schedule and how do you do it? |
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| JackieCat - 2006-02-11 7:30 AM
To get back to the topic at hand . . . does anyone else teach lots of classes per week? If so, what's your schedule and how do you do it?
Hee hee ....
I only teach 5 at the moment and 1-2 privates. I also work as a club trainer at the gym so that is where the rest if my time goes.
I was teaching up to 16 last year, but I was running all over town to 6 different locations, that is what wore me out, the running around. I was also teaching a few classes at a few places I really just didn't resonate with, with students who needed a lot of energy (you know, the types that just sit there and stare like energtic vampires!?) I was also just starting with a lot of these classes and was needing to do most of the poses which was tiring too.
Since then I have left the classes I was not getting anything (other than money) back from and only teach at places that help me create the energy. I have also got many regular students who know my style so I can spend at least half of the class walking around and giving adjustments as I talk then through the poses.
Things are changing soon though and I will be going back to about 18 classes a week (mainly advanced) yet they will all be in the one studio which I will be living close to so I think that is going to make a world of difference! |
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| twisti - 2006-02-11 12:29 PM
I was also teaching a few classes at a few places I really just didn't resonate with, with students who needed a lot of energy (you know, the types that just sit there and stare like energtic vampires!?) I was also just starting with a lot of these classes and was needing to do most of the poses which was tiring too.
Interesting situation isn't it. I've been in classes where everybody just wanted to sit around and be quiet. I often find myself speaking up and being obnoxious in those sorts of situations just to disrupt the oppressive silence. Some times this is a good thing, since it prevents the situation you're talking about, sometimes it's a bad thing, since it's disruptive.
I've been attempting to figure out which is which, but it can be hard since it's so subtle. I've yet to have any teachers say anything about it, but some give you a very strong shunning sort of thing. OTOH, I've also had those same teachers say in later classes that they were surprised at how quiet the "less shy members of the class were being" (meaning me I think), so it's a hard hard thing to say.
After all those quiet people might be afraid to say of do something "bad" or miss an instruction from the teacher. Or they might be worn out from a hard day at the office, and not wanting to say or do too much.
One of my friends is married to a woman who acts like this sometimes. We play a lot of board games, and when I'm explaining the rules of a new game to her, she's deadly silent, and looks right through you. It's a bit disconcerting, and really threw me off at first. However, once we started playing I figured out that she was really paying a lot of attention, and was really keen on learning the rules.
People are strange, it's hard to say what anything really means. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
 
| I teach 6 classes most weeks and with a 9 - 3 day job with toddlers, that is plenty. Iyengar teachers are required to demonstrate and adjust so there is no slacking off there. |
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| am currently teaching 22 regular classes and 15(update from last post) privates a week with the occasional workshop every other month and I work 7 days a week. I think teaching by dialoge and not demonstrating all the time is the only way I can do it.
Here is my average week.
Mon-Fri 7-8 am usually a private at either time
Mon-Fri 9 am Yoga
Mon,Wed, Fri 10:30 usually a private
Wed Fri 2-3 pm privates at both hours
Mon-Fri 4:30, 6 PM Yoga
Mon-Fri 7:15 pm
Sat- Sun 10 am Yoga
Sat-Sun 12 privates
Sun: Kung fu class
The thing that really saps my energy is not the teaching(I really love to teach yoga!), but all the rest of the stuff that goes into owning your own studio. The paperwork, the cleaning, dealing with banks, marketing, (did I say paperwork?)yada-yada. Can really kill your teaching buzz!
I think what keeps me going is my practice. I really value to 1-2 hours in the middle of the day that is mine to study my craft. I think I would go insane if I could not practice.
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| I teach 13 classes (14 hours) a week, all of them yoga or pilates and one regular private. And I need about 4 more classes to feel somewhat financially stable. Of course a few privates would balance that out, but they seem to be harder for me to come by. I'll take any suggestions on getting privates. Back to the topic...
My schedule:
Monday - Yoga 5-6, plus I take an advanced asana class from my teacher from 7:30-9
Tuesday - Pilates 9:15-10:15 am; Yoga 11:15-12:10; Pilates 6:30-7:30 p.m.
Wednesday - Private 7-8 am; Pilates 7-8 pm;
Thursday - Yoga 11:15-12:10; Yoga 5:30-6:30; Yoga 7:30-9:30
Friday - Yoga 9:30-11 a.m.; Yoga 12-1 p.m.; Yoga 5:30-6:30 p.m.
Saturday Yoga 8:30-10 a.m. and Pilates 10:30-11:30 a.m.
No classes one Sunday. I used to occassionally pick up a sub class on sudnay, but the gym chain where I do most of my teaching won't let you teach 7 days in a row. I used to be able to do it because I taught at a different gym on Saturday, but now that I teach for them on Saturday, I can't.
I have to say, the 7 days did tend to wear me down, so that might be a good thing. I think I could do 20 classes, but I did have to build up to 13 physically. I can't imagine picking up 15 or 20 classes at once.
I teach a lot of repitition and basically the same standing portion all week, but vary to sitting portion. I will change the class a littler or completely depending to who shows up and the energy in the room.
I learned early on about arranging my schedule the hard way. I live in sprawling Houston and I was driving all over town teaching for the woman who trained me. I actually lost money on some of those classes, when you consider mileage and I was exhausted from the driving. It was hard to do, but I had to give those up and start over, building classes almost from scratch.
Now I limit the drive to 15 miles (15-30 minutes) and I'm starting to attempt to put things together so when I leave my house I do 2-3 classes not just one and drive home. Otherwise I'm not at all picky. I was a journalist for a decade before this so I have a high threshhold for annoying people. Most of the annoying people, however, won't come to my classes, because I don't feed their need to compete and acheive the toughest pose in the book.
When I first started teaching I took over for a very popular teacher and most of the students evaporated. Those who stayed, however, were the best people in the world and they give me lots of love and good enery. Its funny too, because some of the diserters are starting to drift back after a year. Go figure. 
Edited by skatrenah 2006-02-11 11:52 PM
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| Kabu,
I do not understand why many men are like your husband--they won't touch something with a ten-foot pole. It's kind of strange to me. Perhaps it's just really strange to me. But, i do know that a lot of men are like that.
I do not know how he would feel about it, but thai yoga massage is amazing, and all he has to do is show up. it might be a start for him where he doesn't really have to make any concerted effort and he doesn't have to be adept at anything to do it. A lot of men don't want to do yoga because they fear judgement of the others in the class (the same reason why a lot of women don't want to do it either).
it may be a way to introduce him to the processes that will help him physically, emotionally, and spiritually, but not where he has to do very much about it.
i teach a class about twice a year for couples to do thai yoga massage with each other. I lead the class for 3 hours and it's great. I love doing it. A lot of women bring their husbands who are not always thrilled to be there--and deathly afraid of yoga. After 3 hours of thai massage, many of them come to yoga class in the following weeks and get hooked. So, i find that it makes for a nice introduction to the process for them.
If you'd like, i have some time available in the late summer and early fall for workshops. If your studio would like to host me, i'd be happy to come and teach yoga, thai yoga massage for couples, and even a teacher training intensive. Let me know.  |
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| Oh man, he is resistant with a capital R. He would never say this out loud, but I think he feels it's a girl thing. Add to that his super tight hamstrings and his macho ego, and you can imagine it's like talking to a brick wall.
I'm careful not to bug him about it ~ I've mentioned it maybe 3 times in the last 7 years. We also had a Family Yoga class which would have been perfect for him. It was more like Play Yoga, and there were quite a few Dads who I believe participated just to make Mom or the kids happy. We all have fun though! I tried to get him to come with for just ONE class. Nope.
There is a little hope. The kids class is having a Yoga Pizza party in two weeks. I won't be able to attend, but the girls really, really want to go. Daddy reluctantly agreed to take them. He has been whining, "I won't have to DO any Yoga, will I?" but at least he isn't backing out.
We had a Couples Workshop last year, and naturally he refused. The Thai Yoga is a great idea! I fear I will get the same reaction, but it's worth a try.
To be brutally honest here, he's totally lost on all levels. It breaks my heart when he asks me, "How can you have such faith?" Mentally, he's worn out (though he's forced to prepare to defend himself and his colleagues in an upcoming trial). Physically, he's slowly falling apart. There's a terrible history of heart problems and cancer in his family, so you can imagine what goes through my mind. I don't like where this trend is going, you know?
Thank you for the workshop offer! I'm going to pass that on to Silvia, the studio owner. In fact, if you're curious about the studio, their website is Total Body Yoga. And who knows, I may be headed your way one day. I'd like to travel more, and I'd love to combine that with checking out studios all over the country.
Sorry for babbling. Can you tell I'm a little anxious? |
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| Kabu,
Does your husband do any exercise? Try getting him to do Pilates. Granted he won't get the full benefits of yoga, but it would be a step in the right direction. Also, some studies have shown that cardio exercise is a real help with depression.
I've had a lot more yoga training than pilates training, so I blend in yoga to give them some variety. My students know this, but many of them still won't go to my yoga classes. Yoga has a lot of connotations in many people's minds and it's hard to overcome.
I was going through my own difficult situation a few years ago, when I got back on a regular gym program, which at least helped keep me from going over the edge. I tried pilates first, because it was the new thing to trim the wasteline at the gym, but I could only do it once a week. I over heard some girls saying their yoga class was a lot like pilates, so I added in a yoga class to get the benefits twice a week.
I'm not sure I would have embarked on a "spiritual journey" at that point in my life.
If your husband is not ready for yoga yet, try to get him active. Start with the body. Hope that the mind and spirit will follow.
Sharon |
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| YIKES YogaBrian! how do you do it??
I thought I taught a bunch: 15 classes a week @ 90 minutes each
REMEMBER: These classes are all in 105+ degrees and big humidity
monday -thursday 10 AM 430 PM and 630PM
Saturday 10 and 430
Sunday 10AM only
yes, i tend to be a little smelly and somewhat moist of hair, most of the time.
what about naps?
do you MEGA teachers take a little nappy in the day??
i do. usually from 1:30-3:00 pm
Dee
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i forgot to say with out my practice i too would be crazier:
do a minimum of 6 classes a week. I prefer to do 8 to 10 a week if i can.
these are conducted as "silent" classes- with music and only with experienced students,.
very HOT. very SWEATY. very nice.
Dee
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| Hi Sharon,
He used to exercise but stopped many years ago. We just bought a heavy bag ~ it's mainly for me, but I was secretly hoping it would pull him in a little (he boxed when we was younger). So far, nothing.
If I could get him walking on the treadmill 3 days a week, I'd be thrilled. |
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| Miss dee,
It helps that my class is only an hour long. Also I teach in 85-90 degree heat. Much easier to survive through a 5-8 session day. After teaching this volume in the gyms for years, now that I have my own space it is easier not having to run all over town.
I think I picked up teaching so many classes from my teacher. He taught 35-40 classes(with privates I believe) for years. He always used to tell me the formula for being a good teacher was very easy. Teach alot of classes and practice even more!
What for me is hard as I am sure you have experienced is RUNNING the business of having a space. The admin ALWAYS takes more time then I plan for. Something seems to alway go wrong when you don't want it to. Slow periods cause sleepless nights.
I think that my practice and really loving what I do for a living makes it all worth it. I don't think I could go to a desk job after this. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 5098
Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | skatrenah - 2006-02-12 3:36 PM Does your husband do any exercise? Try getting him to do Pilates. Granted he won't get the full benefits of yoga, but it would be a step in the right direction. Also, some studies have shown that cardio exercise is a real help with depression. I'm not sure I would have embarked on a "spiritual journey" at that point in my life. If your husband is not ready for yoga yet, try to get him active. Start with the body. Hope that the mind and spirit will follow. Sharon Hi Sharon, With all due respect, I really do not think it is a good idea to try to force someone to do a yoga practice. In fact, its kinda not a good idea. We need to let our husbands be and quit trying to force our ideas on them. This is not part of the yoga practice. It is our practice if we are truly on a yoga path to focus on ourselves, not on others - including spouses. A long time ago I made this mistake with my ex-husband and it had disastrous results for his state of well being. It only added more confusion to his path, rather than helping him. He ended up being like a puppy dog following me around to everything I did and it ended up being a great big LIE, for him - it was such a joke. It has to be true and it has to be within that person...not forced, and not mentally forced to try to please the other partner, that is very dangerous and it is not beneficial to that person to experience. So please be careful about this. We are not suppose to JUDGE anything or anyone. My Nepali husband who is very much Hindu and into his culture is not a yoga practitioner, he is a body builder. He understands and supports my practice, after all he lived in the monastery's and was trained by a great Yogi master. He has done the Hot/Bikram series with me from time to time, but he is not a regular practitioner and has no interest at this time. This is a very important aspect of the Yoga practice and needs to be respected and honored. |
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| Not to worry. I don't think any of us were proposing forcing someone to practice Yoga. Like I said earlier, I don't mention it very often. In fact, I don't force a thing on him. I take that back...he does have to suck it up and eat pork chops once in a while 'cause the 10 year old likes them. But that's about it.
I would like to get him in the studio door just so he can see what it's like. I don't care if he practices or not ~ I just want him to find something that would be good for him. I want him to be around the next 40 years or so.  |
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| Yes Kabu,
I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I meant the exact opposite of forcing him to do yoga.
Find something he's less opposed to and try to get him to try it to get his mind off his situation. It could be pilates, weight lifting or painting. I only suggested pilates, because it mentally seems to be a safer environment for men who think yoga is kind of girly, but has a lot of similar exercises.
Cardio exercises, like a plain-old treadmill can help reduce depression and can get the body in shape.
We tend to think yoga is "the answer." But it may not be the answer for everyone.
sharon |
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| Hey I'm back from my yoga.com break!
This is totally going back to the beginning of this thread. But I teach 18 classes of my own a week, and since I work for such a busy athletic club, I sub anywhere from 3 classes or more a week. I don't always sub yoga. (Yoga's what I mostly teach, though.) I've also subbed pilates, step, kickboxing, sculpt, abs, fitball, aqua, and a bunch of other stuff I probably can't remember I've taught. (All this teaching and no computer of my own is probably one of the reasons why I've been gone so long!) There are days when I've taught so much I can't keep the classes I've taught straight. I do remember that one time I taught 7 classes in one day and then attended two because I had a hard time fitting in my own personal practice that whole week. The strangest thing was that I wasn't even tired after that whole day! I felt great.
I guess I've really conditioned my body through all the teaching I've done (I do a lot of things along with my students, but still walk around and do adjustments) that things that would have tired me out quickly a couple of years ago, barely phase me now. Heck, on top of teaching, I practice therapeutic massage and do privates too! I also find the time to do weight training and cardio at the gym to mix things up. My family, friends, and students all think I'm crazy, but I love it. I feel happier and healthier than I've felt in a long time, so I'm going to continue for however long this schedule suits me. Believe it or not, I do listen to my body and do stop when I think I'm overdoing it |
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| Kabu - 2006-02-12 2:18 PM
Oh man, he is resistant with a capital R. He would never say this out loud, but I think he feels it's a girl thing. Add to that his super tight hamstrings and his macho ego, and you can imagine it's like talking to a brick wall.
Then the best thing you can do is wait for something to change. Before I got started again you couldn't have convinced me to do yoga if you had payed me, just a little too burnt from my experience in cali. Once things fell into place I started again, and now you'd have to dynomite me out of the studio.
To be brutally honest here, he's totally lost on all levels. It breaks my heart when he asks me, "How can you have such faith?" Mentally, he's worn out (though he's forced to prepare to defend himself and his colleagues in an upcoming trial). Physically, he's slowly falling apart. There's a terrible history of heart problems and cancer in his family, so you can imagine what goes through my mind.
Yes, that's very hard. Probably the best thing you can do for him is to make sure he eats well. Everything else is out of your control, if he's not interested/capable of making the effort. |
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| Kabu:
I can understand his resistance on a number of levels. A lot of men think that yoga isn't masculine enough, even though it was started by men, and for many years, women weren't allowed to do it (in the beginning--and that is, specific to asana practice, as women could do other yoga practices). But, in the US, yoga was started by females. When swami vivikananda came to the world's fair in the late 1800s, he noticed that the men didn't seem interested, but that the women did. breaking from tradition (where families learn together, headed by men), he decided to teach women independently with the faith and understanding that the men would eventually follow. To an extent, this certainly has happened.
It seems that in our culture, women are more open to 'new' (as in newly introduced) spiritual and other ideas, and men are more entrenched. A lot of this comes from the fear of loosing sight of one's prescribed social gender. The pressure on male identity is massive, and it is also very narrow. Any tiny misstep or step away from comfortable, prescribed masculinity can cause a huge social hammer to come down. My husband remembers a very mortifying conversation with a girl at school who mentioned that his shirt (which was a hand-me-down) was a girl's shirt and not a boys. He was mortified because if his male friends found out, they would tease him, consider him gay, or whatever else. BEing the top sort of cultural creature that a male is, and noticing the broad-spectrum of female allowances for personal expression, many men cling desparately to the narrow definition of masculinity that they have inherited.
This, of course, leads to a great deal of male suffering--and i see it all around me. Even men in my classrooms, who longingly look at the women's clothing wishing that there was something comparable for men--the right sorts of wicking materials, clothing that fits, but isn't fitted like a glove or sausage wrapper. And some men will even voice this concern (not wanting to wear baggy shorts and t-shirts, but also not wanting to wear the skin-tight yoga pants either). And some men, will actually buy the women's pants, in larger sizes of course, and wear them. But, for those who do, it's quite a hurdle to get over to walk into the classroom like that--and hope no one makes a comment. In the specific case that i know, no one did--and in fact most of the men at the studio followed suit, recognizing that those pants were the best for the class. But, they're still 'women's' pants, and they wouldn't wear them in any other location--get the idea?
It can be tough for the fellas, they do have their own cultural cages to overcome.
Thai massage is a great idea because it's fully clothed, done in private (unless you're taking a workshop on it), and it has many benefits. There's no requirement for any level of fitness and no exertion. As a form of massage, it's great for relieving stress and moving through things. It seems that with all of the things that your husband is going through, adding a stress is not a good one. And, when you're upset in many ways, forcing oneself to move or exercise in any way is incredibly difficult. I know this from my own experience. It's likely that when these things pass (and they will), he'll begin to move in a more healthy, health-full direction. it takes time though, patience, and all that.
Remember, if you can have faith about these other things, you can also have faith that your husband will find a way to take care of himself, to become healthy. I was freaking out about my dad for a number of years, because he was very unhealthy. I was worried, and he spoke frequently about how he 'wasn't going to live forever' and was 'making sure that your mom will be taken care of" and all that language. He was only in his late 50s, and it was freaking me out. Well, over the last year, he found a medication that works for him, and he's lost a lot of weight and gotten into great shape. He's started exercising even more, and feels strong, healthy, and motivated. HIs language about age, sickness, and death has largely disappeared. He mostly talks about investments now--for a long retirement after age 70, and also working at the local university once he does retire). He came through OK, you know? he just had a really rough go of things for a while there--it happens to all of us. So, add a little faith to that basket too!
Thanks for the web site, i'll definately look at it. I can send her some materials if she'd like, definately let me know. I'll also give you my email in a private message, so that we can communicate more directly than through a web site. That will make many things easier. |
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how many classes a week?
