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 Partner Yoga / Couples YogaModerators: Moderators Jump to page : 1 2 3 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page] | View previous thread :: View next thread |
| Yoga -> General Yoga | Message format |
YogaGuy |
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| Anybody out there do any partner yoga or yoga for couples? As Valentine's Day is around the corner it's time for me to start preparing to do partner workshops and yoga for couples. Personally, I love it and love teaching it. I was wondering what other people thought about it. Any interest? Likes/Dislikes? Comments? I'll be teaching some workshops around NYC in February and I'll keep you all posted.  | |||
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| Bay Guy |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 2479    Location: A Blue State | In most of the classes I do, partner yoga means being paired up with a stranger on the fly. About half the time, the partner is another [sweaty] guy, and we are both trying to stay involved without doing anything that might be misinterpreted. For me, it's always uncomfortable, because I'm accustomed to keeping some distance from other men. The other half of the time it's with a woman, which is usually easier, in the sense that there's none of that guy-guy tension. It's kind of surprising, in the sense that I have no...hmm... ... interest in men that might contribute to discomfort with them...but I'm not in yoga classes to pick up women either. I just find it easier to touch or be touched by women. In the same vein, I never approach women in a class asking them to pair up with me. That seems forward to me. Maybe I'm just really really uptight?? Anyway, for a Valentine's Day Partner yoga thing, you'll probably be working with established couples who are quite happy to pair up. Oh, here's one for all of you who teach yoga. I've noted with considerable amusement the following common scenario. A guy and a girl come to yoga together. The teacher, a guy say, gives the girl some kind of hands-on adjustment. The girl's partner then glares jealously at the teacher for the rest of the class. Or conversely, the teacher, a gal, adjusts the guy, producing similar jealousy. Some teachers are baffled by this. Others have the presence of mind to do their next adjustment on the "offended" partner. I think I've fallen out of balance postures while observing this dynamic.  | ||
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| Thushara |
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I totally agree with Bay guy. This doesn’t work Yoga guy. In my first yoga studio, the teacher tried to do this to encourage some lazy yogis in the class. But didn’t work. All the guys fought for the nice looking yoginis to be partnered  and that ended up with some disappointment for some guys., And girls are not comfortable in partnering some strange bunch of guys specially when they are sweating  It needs body to body contact. I didn’t feel this comfortable at all. It destroy the mental balance.Edited by Thushara 2005-01-06 10:43 PM | |||
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| afroyogi |
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| I have to agree with the others, YG. Apart from the awkward mating business and getting feely-touchy with strangers the whole class almost always is turning into a chattering coffee party after a minute or so. Having learned that yoga is about me-me-me I find it very distracting. It's hard to get back into the zone again after being torn out off your self-centered and focussed "solo-flight". For the same reason I couldn't care less if my wife would join yoga classes with me or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very open and social guy - except when I'm on the mat! I car-pool very often with a buddy of mine and on the way we're chatting all the time, but as soon as we enter the room I don't see him anymore. We don't even do the partner thingies together since he's like 4 inches taller than me and both of us are looking for hot yoginis to team up with Strange, he always gets the tall willowy type while I end up with ladies that look like me  There's one thing though: My wife suffers from MS and is bound to a wheelchair, so from time to time I push-pull-twist her a little to loosen her cramps and spasms. It would be nice to have something like a medical yoga seminar for couples where one partner is in the carer position. I would like to learn more about appropriate "asanas" for sick puppies like me missus. But I guess that would be to complicated since all patients are pretty much different. Edited by afroyogi 2005-01-07 12:00 AM | |||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442   | I think a special couples class for Valentines Day would be lovely but in general, we don't do partner yoga. We do however, do assist each other from time to time in non-touchy feely ways, such as a strap pull for downward dog or spotting/assisting for arm balance. And we don't do that at all with new students. Teachers and very advanced students will occassionally do deeper work but that is pretty rare. One of the biggest issues with partnering, besides the sweat (ick!) is differing levels of practice. Being partnered with someone who doesn't understand the mechanics of what they are doing or the goal of the adjustment is uncomfortable and potentially dangerous. Afroyogi, you are so right about the me, me, me thing. We often carpool to class and then split up and not even talk again until it is time to go home. It isn't social time, as our teacher sometimes has to remind us when we are chitchatting while picking up props  I also like your idea of an assisted class for people who need help. If you ever get to a city with an Iyengar studio that does special needs classes you will find that indeed that does happen. In Pune at the Iyengar institute I hear there are more teachers and assistants in what they call their medical classes than students. Going against my preference for classes over videos etc., there is a dvd for people with MS that is quite informative. I could find out the title for you if you are interested. | ||
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| YogaGuy |
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| The partner classes I do are billed as partner classes in advance so you come with somebody or you come alone knowing that you could get a sweaty guy or an ugly woman. I've tried impromptu partnering in some of my classes, and people have A LOT of issues with it--even more than you and you people have some serious issues! I personally love to take anusara classes which often erupt into partnering and adjusting on each other and for some reason they're used to it so people don't get all wigged out. In vinyasaland, people are still unenlightened. As a yoga teacher, if you have issues touching people of either gender--misplaced sexuality or homosexuality or heterosuperiority or whatever--then you shouldn't be teaching. Yeah, I am conscious when I see a couple in my class, that I don't want to go too crazy adjusting the woman, because it could distract her man, but I try not to let it comprimise how I teach. I try to make everyone feel comfortable and cared for. I remember the last time I taught a couples class, this girl I know brought her boyfriend and they were having fun and giggling throughout class. But when we got to the lifts where you lie down and pick your partner up with your feet and they can fly like an airplane or flip over and do back bends. The guy wasn't able to get it. So she asked me if I would lift her so she could do some of the backbends (they feel great because you are only supported at your lower back and gravity does the rest). So I said sure I lifted her up and she did her backbends and had a great old time. Apparently, I was the topic of conversation around their apartment for a few days after that because SHE kept bringing me up in conversations. So sometimes people have a hand in creating their own drama. As for the whole ME ME ME thing. I think you people are missing the point entirely!!!! I cannot stress enough how yoga is sooo NOT about you! Yoga means union. If you are only concerned with uniting with yourself then you are ma$turbat1ng!!! Sorry. I hate to be blunt, but really that is the most shallow thing I have heard. The biggest problem with the way we practice yoga is that we use mats. People are psychologically fooled into thinking that the mat is their own tiny universe and nothing outside of it matters. WAKE UP!!! Throw away your mats!!! Interact with other people! Get hip to the fact that you are part of something bigger than yourselves! Jimi Hendrix said: I used to live in a room full of mirrors All I could see was me I take my spirit and I crashed my mirrors Now the whole world is here for me to see! | |||
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| YogaGuy |
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| flipcat |
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | >>As for the whole ME ME ME thing. I think you people are missing the point entirely<< OK, I think we are looking at this from different angles. I think I know what you are getting at and completely agree. Coming to a yoga class to zone out and be somewhere else is totally not what I am suggesting, if that is what you are trying to say. I get very irritated by people who want to dim the lights, close their eyes and go to their "happy place" during class  But we do need to be primarily present for ourselves, in our own bodies for yoga (either talking asana class or eventual union with the Divine). Class is a bit different from practice - more externally oriented both to listen to the teacher and to be aware of those around us. More in the brain and less in the body. To an experienced practitioner, this is clear, the concept of being part of the whole with our class as well as your individual self is a given. For newer students, or people who have REAL issues (I have students who will need a lot more therapy before I will touch them!) this is not yet in place and we have to respect that. Personally, I don't have many issues with my own body or having others touch me. My teachers have earned my trust by demonstrating over a period of years that they are trustworthy and I have no problem having them show a class where my inner upper thighs should be in a pose. But Joe or Josephine Newbie isn't me and I don't want him/her touching me until I am feeling secure with it and I won't touch them in a way that might be upsetting until they know me much better. And I don't like sweat | ||
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| afroyogi |
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| >> there is a dvd for people with MS that is quite informative. I could find out the title for you if you are interested. << Oh, that would be very nice, Glenda. >> As for the whole ME ME ME thing. I think you people are missing the point entirely!!!! I cannot stress enough how yoga is sooo NOT about you! << Really? That's new to me, YG. All my teachs must be bloody liars then. However, even if the yoga practice is supposed to be shared with others, I as a beginner need every bit of concentration that I got to care about MY joints, MY bones, MY muscles, MY breath, MY alignment, you name it. >> If you are only concerned with uniting with yourself then you are ma$turbat1ng!!! Sorry. I hate to be blunt, but really that is the most shallow thing I have heard. << Don't be sorry for my shallowness. I actually love ma$turb@ting  >> The biggest problem with the way we practice yoga is that we use mats. People are psychologically fooled into thinking that the mat is their own tiny universe and nothing outside of it matters. << I rather like that idea too. For me it's a comfy thought, to roll out my mat and know that's MY place. It helps me stay focused. >> WAKE UP!!! Throw away your mats!!! Interact with other people! Get hip to the fact that you are part of something bigger than yourselves! << Maybe later I will wake up, but please gimme some time, yah? In the moment I'm not ready yet for socialising in class. My poor little self demands all of my attention for now. >> I'm not saying you all should take up partner yoga. << See, I'm not totally against a partner yoga class as such. What I don't like are the occasionally thrown in partner-poses during a "normal" class. | |||
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| bomberpig |
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YogaGuy - 2005-01-07 11:31 AM As for the whole ME ME ME thing. I think you people are missing the point entirely!!!! I cannot stress enough how yoga is sooo NOT about you! Yoga means union. If you are only concerned with uniting with yourself then you are ma$turbat1ng!!! Sorry. I hate to be blunt, but really that is the most shallow thing I have heard. The biggest problem with the way we practice yoga is that we use mats. People are psychologically fooled into thinking that the mat is their own tiny universe and nothing outside of it matters. WAKE UP!!! Throw away your mats!!! Interact with other people! Get hip to the fact that you are part of something bigger than yourselves! Um, I thought yoga means union with the divine in me, I didn't know that is ma$turbation  On the otherhand I agree with the 'interact with other people' stuff. Whilst learning to be non-judgmental and compassionate towards ourselves ( I am fat/ugly/unfit/inflexible ) maybe we should practise being non-judgmental to other people too ( he/she is fat/smelly/sweaty ), safety aside. | |||
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| itchytummy |
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afroyogi - 2005-01-06 8:48 PM There's one thing though: My wife suffers from MS and is bound to a wheelchair, so from time to time I push-pull-twist her a little to loosen her cramps and spasms. It would be nice to have something like a medical yoga seminar for couples where one partner is in the carer position. I would like to learn more about appropriate "asanas" for sick puppies like me missus. But I guess that would be to complicated since all patients are pretty much different. Actually, there are people out there who help couples in similar situations as you and Mrs. Afroyogi. (Myself included ) With the new realization in the West that yoga can be individualized to a person, more and more people who specialize in yoga therapy have been popping up. A lot of these people have been coming to hospitals, private homes, holding seminars, as well as helping out couples to show them how to integrate yoga into a routine that would be beneficial to the person with the special need. Maybe if you poked around in your community, checked around the internet, or asked a healthcare professional if they know anyone who does yoga therapy that might be able to show you and the missus a thing or two, you might be able to get started on learning more about helping your wifey through yoga therapy. I hope this helps Stefan. | |||
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| itchytummy |
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Bay Guy - 2005-01-06 6:27 PM Oh, here's one for all of you who teach yoga. I've noted with considerable amusement the following common scenario. A guy and a girl come to yoga together. The teacher, a guy say, gives the girl some kind of hands-on adjustment. The girl's partner then glares jealously at the teacher for the rest of the class. Or conversely, the teacher, a gal, adjusts the guy, producing similar jealousy. Some teachers are baffled by this. Others have the presence of mind to do their next adjustment on the "offended" partner. I think I've fallen out of balance postures while observing this dynamic. This sooo happens to me on a regular basis. I teach at this one location where lots of couples come, and I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me as an instructor. I often get angry "Get yer mitts off my man!" stares, but have the common sense to go up to the offended partner and adjust her as well to help ease her worries. Heck, this even happens during savasana when I go around to give my usual adjustments and massages to everyone. When everyone's eyes are supposed to be closed, I often find that girlfriend or wife sneaking a peak at me while I do my own thing just to make sure I don't do anything unacceptable. Bay Guy, I can't help but inwardly crack up myself and have found myself losing balance too by observing this dynamic. People can be so funny sometimes. | |||
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| itchytummy |
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| YogaGuy, as a teacher myself I often find it is often easier to teach partner yoga to already established couples or friends. When teaching partner yoga to a room full of people who don't know each other I've observed many of the same phenomena mentioned here. It's funny to see in a class men vying for the prettier girls, and the guys who get stuck with each other go "Yuck another man!", but I find that by doing a partner yoga class with people who don't know each other can often teach students to learn how to think outside the box and how to transcend their own egos. I find that despite the initial awkwardness of pairing strangers up with each other, many people are often able to get past that. By the way, how have the tips been lately? Edited by itchytummy 2005-01-07 9:33 PM | |||
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| afroyogi |
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| I've found out for myself a good way to break the ice when teaming up with an unknown partner of the other gender. Just ask "So, what will it be, your mat or mine?" Wink wink, nudge nudge | |||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | >>When everyone's eyes are supposed to be closed, I often find that girlfriend or wife sneaking a peak<< Re: the couples things - I find wives (usually the more experienced yogi who has brought hubby along to class) often "take care" of the guys and sort of fuss over them in a motherly way. They help get blanket folding right and such. It's cute And I had one couple who held hands during savasana. It would have been cute but they were a bit weird...  Stefan - I'll get the name of the video for you | ||
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| Bay Guy |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 2479 Location: A Blue State | Holding hands in Savasana: I did a parent-child yoga class with my daughter when she was 6, and I think that she held my hand during Savasana. It's great being a Dad. I think I've read about half-a-dozen comments on this thread that guys want to be paired with pretty girls. I'm not so sure about that. Sometimes the pretty girls are so used to being hit on by men that they approach you as if they need to fend you off. I'd rather be paired with a woman who doesn't expect that I'll drool on her. Age differences in all this boy-girl stuff: My wife assures me that college-age girls think that 40-something guys are just old and gross (take that however you will), so how do I partner in yoga classes where people like me are at the high-end in age (e.g., Ashtanga yoga)? Usually, that means that I pair up with another "old man" in the class. In my Iyengar classes, I'm probably in the middle to low end of the age spectrum, and partnering is so much easier. Everyone has lived long enough to be comfortable with their own body and with other people's bodies. | ||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | >>In my Iyengar classes, I'm probably in the middle to low end of the age spectrum, and partnering is so much easier. Everyone has lived long enough to be comfortable with their own body and with other people's bodies.<< There is probably more than a grain of truth to this. I tend to forget that a lot of the yoga world is youth oriented. I teach a lot of middle aged (old and gross  ) people so there is not the same self-consciousness in that way. | ||
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| JackieCat |
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Extreme Veteran Posts: 418 Location: New York | |||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | |||
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| Gruvemom |
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| afroyogi |
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| >> do they know when to stop so one of us won't get injured? << You know there's a good work-around for that, Melissa. We all have a mouth attached right in our face, don't we? We can use this mouth to do like "push/pull/drag/hit me, more, more ... moooore, just a little more ... okay ... okay, that's enough ... stop ..... STOP!" Works like a treat | |||
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| YogaGuy |
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afroyogi - 2005-01-07 6:48 PM Really? That's new to me, YG. All my teachs must be bloody liars then. However, even if the yoga practice is supposed to be shared with others, I as a beginner need every bit of concentration that I got to care about MY joints, MY bones, MY muscles, MY breath, MY alignment, you name it. Obviously you aren't listening to your teachers. Do they tell you to only inhale? Do they tell you to always take take take and never give anything back? Are your teachers telling you to be a self-centered brat? I doubt they are. I think what you should be learning is a balance. I think you should consider not hording everything for yourself and trying to be generous and giving. afroyogi - 2005-01-07 6:48 PM Don't be sorry for my shallowness. I actually love ma$turb@ting Obvious!!! Read about brahmacharya. afroyogi - 2005-01-07 6:48 PM Maybe later I will wake up, but please gimme some time, yah? In the moment I'm not ready yet for socialising in class. My poor little self demands all of my attention for now. I'm not talking about socializing in class. Class is a time for you to do some SERIOUS WORK. Working on yourself is not about trying to look better in the mirror. It's about trying to make you a better person so that when you leave class you contribute to making the world a better place. Giving back to the world can be as simple as smiling or saying "thank you." It's about NOT using other people to dump your issues on. It's about helping the people around you to be their best. This is in ANY and ALL yoga classes, not just partner classes. No you don't have to actually touch strangers to practice this. But touching other people (strangers or lovers, physically and emotionally) can be a great way to practice spreading some joy if you do it correctly. | |||
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| Thushara |
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