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| Okay, this is embarrassing to admit, so please be gentle.
I'm having abdominal surgery on Friday (they do not know whether it is an incisional hernia or more endometriosis). This will be my 4th surgery in 9 years, so I know what I'm in for - some serious pain for the next few weeks at least. Of course my personal practice would help me to mentally/emotionally/physically prepare myself, but every time I close my eyes and start to breathe, I become very frightened and depressed and I start crying. In fact, I'm crying right now as I'm typing this. 
I don't even know what to ask for, some helpful suggestion to get me through the next 5 days? Once it's done I think I can deal with the recovery, but I never expected to be so scared going into it. Having had so many, you'd think I'd be used to it by now!
Please help!!
Jean |
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| Dear Jean:
Thanks for the query. In your situation, I suggest the following:
- Remember you are a Yoga Student. And, therefore, you know mind separate from the body. And, all the pain is registered in the mind. So, use your mind to keep it peaceful via prayers, etc. and try to ignore the body during the pain, as possible.
- Remember, you went through similar experiece 4 times and you came out well. So, you have most reason to assume that you will come out well. Use this thought to keep the mind peaceful as per above suggestion.
- Remember that you have many friends out there and you are not alone.
- Lastly as a yoga student, use this instance to do your Yoga Practice of mental peace.
Best Luck
Neel Kulkarni
www.authenticyoga.org |
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| Jean, here's a thought that almost always helps me in stressfull situations, like OPs, dentistry and stuff. I keep on telling myself the situation I have to face is inescapable - so any moaning, crying, getting angry or bothering will not help me in any way. I'm not responsible any more, the situation is out of my hands. I have to rely on the capability and knowledge of the doc so I better just trust in him.
Just close your eyes and get it over and done with!
I wish you all the best. Get well soon.
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| Thank you so much, guys. It's so easy for me to remember all that stuff when someone else is sick! I really needed that push in the right direction.
I love these boards! What a wonderful community!
Jean |
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| I can't add anymore than the wise ones here already have so over instead--give 'em hell lady and best of luck! Oh yeah, make sure they give you good narcotics--better living through chemistry. |
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| neel and stefan offer sound advice...and bruce is funny - both totally necessary in this situation. keep your chin up lady! it will be over soon enough and you will be back to your old self before you know it!  |
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| Dear Jean,
Please try to take it one day at a time. Have trust and believe that you will come out well and better from the surgery and keep your chin up. The positive attitude will help your body and mind heal after the surgery, so the earlier you start, the better.  You have a lot of strength and you have been wonderfully supportive of others on this board. We will be equally supportive of you in spirit. Think positive thoughts if you can and try to find joy in everything you do.
love from all of us.
-- mkotya. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
  
Location: A Blue State | I've been in similar situations, and I find that acceptance of the
circumstances and trust in those helping me (or who I have asked to
watch over the doctors) really help me. The other thing that helps
a lot --- if the stress feels really intense --- is to focus on your breath.
Long, slow, deep inhales and exhales are calming.
There's a wonderful quote from Krishnamacharya on breathing...let's
see if I can Google it...here, from yogajournal.com
According to Desikachar, Krishnamacharya described the cycle of breath as an act of surrender: "Inhale, and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you. Exhale, and you approach God. Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God."
If you find the word god troubling, replace it with Life or Peace or another word that
has meaning to you.
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
 
| Jean - do you have a support group around you? You could use up some of that scary energy (BTDT) to gather friends and get set up for your down time. Get groceries, clean, etc. or get friends and family to help you do that. We are here for you! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 517
Location: New Jersey | Jean,
My Mom has had several surgeries, a hip replacement, a hysterectomy, and a surgery to correct an infection resulting from the hysterectomy. Next month she will be going in for a knee replacement. When she prepares to go to the hospital, she does the same thing each time. She imagines what things will be like after the surgery, and recovery. Before all of her surgeries, she was in some kind of pain, so she would focus on the outcome. Although she didn't want to go for surgery, she new it would improve her life in some way so she stayed focused on that.
You'll do great, and pretty soon all this will be behind you! We'll all be thinking of you.
Samantha |
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| The thoughts above are very helpful to me too. I'm about to have a third lot of exploratory surgery to try to find out why I won't stop bleeding. Each time seems more frightening than the last. Short of hiding under the duvet, any tips on controlling the fear?
Regards,
Fee |
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| First of all, thank you so much to all for your kind thoughts and helpful ideas! Yesterday I was able to manage some pranayama without bursting into tears. I've been trying to keep my mind and body as busy as possible, to shut out any opportunity to think about the surgery (FYI, this method does not work). And, unfortunately, been eating unhealthy too - eating a LOT - trying to stuff down the scary feelings I guess (also does not work, plus you gain weight and catch a cold).
But, the road to healing is not paved with pizza, so today a friend is going with me to the *good* health food store and we're going to stock up on lots of organic, whole grain foods that are easy to make (thank you Amy's Organics and Seeds of Change frozen entrees!). And, an employee at the community college where I teach has kindly volunteered to demonstrate poses for me in the upcoming class. It is a "Healthy Backs" type of class, so it will be a nice benefit to show students: this is how to do the pose when you feel great, and this is how to do it when you are injured.
One of the things that was the most helpful was something my wonderful husband said. I've been feeling guilty about dragging him along on this emotional roller coaster! I can put up a good front at work and with my parents (they can't handle it right now), but at home it is not unusual to burst into tears at totally random moments. Finally my husband said "STOP apologizing! You don't have to be brave here. If you want to cry, go ahead and let it out. I totally understand and I'm not going anywhere." Having him create that safe space for me was like having a great weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't feel so alone anymore!
Having all of you be so kind has been a great relief as well. Thank you. 3 more days to go! If my posts get pretty loopy after Friday, chalk it up to great post-surgical drugs!
Jean |
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| jeansyoga - 2005-02-08 2:55 PM
3 more days to go!
Now, will you stop that silly countdown, Jean! We're not talking death row here, mind you. Come friday you'll have an OP, come saturday you'll have a much improved body. YOU WILL!!!
jeansyoga - 2005-02-08 2:55 PM
If my posts get pretty loopy after Friday, chalk it up to great post-surgical drugs!
I'm definately looking forward to THAT! We love great drugs, don't we? 
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| Thanks for the smile
As much as I am not looking forward to the surgery, I am not TOO mad about missing the next 4 weeks of work! I will still teach, but I don't have to show up at my boring office job for a while. Alas, someday I will walk away from it and never return!
Could be sooner rather than later if I don't stay off these message boards while I'm supposed to be working!  |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| Jean. you give that husband of yours extra hugs from us. What a great guy!! I can' t imagine a more perfect thing for him to say |
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| Oh yeah! Points awarded to your husband ~ what a great guy!!
Jean, for what it's worth, I'll be thinking of you on the big day (we all probably will) and sending you good thoughts. And we'll be waiting to hear from you post-surgery.
If you're taking pain killers, that post should be pretty entertaining. 
((Hug))
It'll all be okay. |
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| I think you got quite valuable advice from forum guys, but I dont know to tell you coz I have never faced this. I think you should believe in your mind power..,
My thoughts are with you.. And I’m sure I wont forget to think and wish fast healing for you every time I go for devotions
Edited by Thushara 2005-02-09 6:54 AM
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| Jean,
Good luck tomorrow! :-) I've only had one surgery, but I remember how scary it was! Everyone here has given some great advice, like thinking of how much better things will be after it is over! Meditation is a good idea too. It's a little late to be giving ideas on how not to think about it, but if you find yourself unable to sleep, try reading a good book. It sounds a little lame at first, but putting onself into an alternate reality sometimes helps us to forget about other things. :-)
Best of Luck, and it'll be over with before you know it! Sounds like you have a great, supportive husband by your side. :-)
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| Just wanted to let you all know it is all over with. Surgery was yesterday AM, and I was able to come home yesterday afternoon. I don't think I was ready, as I have been very nauseated and threw up at least 10 times - not fun with a belly incision. I haven't eaten anything since Thursday! I just can't even hold water down.
So, now the healing process can begin. Going to lay back down now as the computer screen seems to make me very dizzy. |
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| Glad to know you are home. From what I understand nausea after abdominal surgery is pretty common.
I'm sure your cat and dog will keep you in good company.
Yes, rest and let the healing process begin. This is a good chance to experiment with recovery yoga! (I don't know what that is, but I figure I'd be able to draw on something from my yoga if I were to go through the same thing - even if it was nothing more than savasana and breathing).
Best healing wishes for you
Audrey |
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| Welcome back, Jean. Hope you can feel so much better soon. |
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| good luck Jean. Keep pattience and we are all around you.
neelkulkarni
www.authenticyoga.org |
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| Get well soon Jean. :-)
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| Good to hear that everything went well (well, kind of) and you're already able to post here. Now, have some rest and get better soon.
A relieved afro
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| Thanks so much guys. Just found out today it was more extensive than we'd expected, so now I'm off work for 6 weeks! I still can't believe they booted me out of the hospital after just a few hours. That's modern American health care for ya.
I am trying to do what breathing and gentle stretching I can to avoid scar adhesions, and to speed healing. But it's very mild and slow, of course. I'm keeping good notes this time so I won't forget a thing. The idea of helping other people in this situation has been my most dear dream as a yoga teacher. Now I can use myself as a guinea pig!
Thanks again for all the love and support, it means more than you know.
Jean
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upcoming surgery
