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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
  
Location: A Blue State | I thought I'd post this thread for MEN's issues. I think we need to have
some sequences for all the sh!t that gets men down:
1. I want to kick that guy's a$$ sequence
2. That guy kicked my a$$ sequence
3. I know I should be more mature, but I don't wanna be sequence
4. I am sooo much smarter that everyone else sequence
5. Cor! What a nice bit, that! sequence
6. I don't care about the menstrual sequence sequence
7. If my father had actually loved me I wouldn't be so screwed up sequence.
These are all very un-Yama, and un-Niyama. That's why we need
special sequences for them. (Yes, I'm having a bad day!)
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| No Golden finger sequence  |
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| How about I lost the remote sequence? My wife is PMSing sequence. I'm losing my hair sequence or even I want a steak d@mn-it sequence.
Edited by caseylane 2005-02-15 11:24 AM
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| Ahh...makes me proud to be a fella. |
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|  I hate that fat guy in the mirror sequence!
Sorry, just confused it with todays warrior sequence where I had a good glance at myself.
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State | Okay, so based on all this I have to conclude that there's a need for a new
style of yoga that appeals to middle-aged men, rather than middle-aged
women. Based on Brother Bruce's posts, I think that it would not include
savasana. We've already agreed that it would replace the menstrual sequence
with some things more directed toward men's issues. (I am rejecting out of
hand the suggestion of a Pole Dance sequence --- you guys need to be serious,
okay?).
So how would this all work? We'd need some standards for teachers, and a basic
sequence for beginners, something like the "I had a bad day sequence" that
guys could do off to one side of the room every now and then, and we'd need
some system of advancement. Since we're guys, we'd probably have titles or
insignia for the more advanced yogis, and maybe some teams (Note --make up
a purpose for these teams later). We'd need some texts to refer to (Brother Neel,
have you written something we could use for this? We'll give you a special title...).
We need a special city to go visit every now and then: Mysore is too far off, so I
suggest Milwaukee.
Would any of you like to take a first cut at the business plan? We should get
Yoga Journal involved early on, and it wouldn't help to start a little buzz on
the workshop circuit.
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| Brother Bay Guy is a tru yoga visionary--I cracked up seeing Milwaukee as the "holy" city. |
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| Milwaukee as the "holy" city<<
having fun laughing my butt off at your posts. I wondered if you guys might want to consider Iron City Beer as your official Iron John Brew...
returning to lurker status |
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| Iron City--a true Pittsburgh original--I recalll they put out a citrus mal liquour long ago--Hoppin Gator--got me through Penn State. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State | So let's see about making a rough draft of the "I had a bad day" sequence
(the bad day sequence, or BDS).
1. Be in Tadasana
2. Raise your arms so that upper arm is aligned with shoulder,
elbows outward, palms on chest
3. Make a fist with each hand
4. Take a sharp inhale, then exhale through the mouth while hollering
and pounding fists alternately against chest.
5. Repeat 15 times
6. Return to Tadasana
7. This is called Tarazansana.
This asana is named for an avatar of Johnny Weismuller, who was said
to swing from tree to tree on vines.
1. Stand in Tadasana facing a wall, so that the chest just brushes the wall.
2. Expand the chest, so that it confronts the wall.
3. Focus the eyes at the wall while bringing the corners of the mouth toward
the ears and slightly downward. Allow the lips to part slightly, keeping the
tongue passive and the lower jaw relaxed.
4. Bring the arms above the head, into urdhva hastanasana.
5. Make fists of the hands, keeping the knuckles of the two hands
facing one another.
6. Alternately pound fists against wall until arms feel tired.
7. Return to Tadasana and remain there until breathing returns to normal.
There is a related version of this asana which involves beating one's head
against the wall; however, it is not recommended for regular practice.
These first two poses are intended to relieve physical tension.
The next pose requires a mirror on the wall.
1. Be in Tadasana before the mirror.
2. Pretend that you are facing a superior being, such a boss, wife, or younger coworker.
3. Tell them exactly what you think of their attitudes and actions. Use descriptive
language.
4. This pose is most effective if you use long sentences and avoid raising your voice.
5. Be sure to hold Tadasana carefully, as there may be a tendency to lean forward
or wave the arms.
6. After a time, turn to the right so that your back faces the mirror.
7. Bend forward into Uttanasana.
8. Return to standing and perform Virabhadrasana I.
This asana may conveniently be practiced at home using the bathroom mirror.
It is good for relieving feelings of defeat and insecurity.
Additional postures will be needed to round out the practice.
Edited by Bay Guy 2005-02-23 7:31 PM
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in other words: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
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| if i dont post anymore it is because i just spit tea all over the keyboard laughing so hard! hope i didnt do any damage!
memo to self: dont drink and read!  |
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Hey Kira, Where were you all these days? |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
 
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I think you may be on to a money maker here!!! |
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| So let's see about making a rough draft of the "I had a bad day" sequence
(the bad day sequence, or BDS). <<
Bay Guy, you are definitely onto something here (esp. the wife being a superior being)... will your Iron John Yoga be like Anusara ? you could do tours and have groovy Tour T's and develop your own line of Iron John Yoga Clothes!
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| You're hilarious Bay Guy! I'd like to see a demonstration and the line Iron John Yoga clothes!
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State | We have now reached the most critical decision in the establishment of
Iron John Yoga: the selection of our Guru.
What are the attributes that a Guru should have? A calm soul, with profound
knowledge, no doubt. One who sees the humor and wisdom in life's misfortunes, especially
those associated with falling out of balance poses. One who is self-effacing, perhaps,
and not given broad displays of hubris. A person who embodies the principles of yoga.
A person who performs asanas with grace. A person who can convince us that we don't
need to slaughter our rivals. A person who is not give to strong language or displays of
aggression. A person who eats lightly and avoids hard liquor.
While the selection process will take time, the above criteria lead me inexorably
to one conclusion:
Our Guru Will Be a Woman
Are we in agreement on this point? Or should we consider some men (who the hell submitted
Fred Flintstone as a candidate anyway? " ...what-I-know-he-got-a-friend-named Barney
Ru*bble...YabbaDabbaDo-DabbaDo-DabbaDo-Now"...geeze...). Also, if we pick a guy, then
it's likely that we'll all be working to get his job for ourselves, right? And that kind of defeats
the purpose of doing yoga, am I right? Another alternative, although I'm cool on this one,
would be to pick a dead guy --- nobody would be working too hard to get his job!
Anyway, would you please get your input to me by Monday --I've got to get the letterhead done.
Om Sri Matre Namah
PS: Serious nominations only! No Britney Spears!! Okay???
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| Rats! I was fixing to type Britney then came to the last line... |
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| "A person who is not give to strong language or displays of
aggression. A person who eats lightly and avoids hard liquor. "
I was with ya until this requirement. Don't know if I was in the running or not, but I'll withdraw anyway lest some embarrassing information should surface during the approval process.
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| How about good spelling?
Since this will be an online guru, spelling is essential, most important really.
And now that I think of it- it really doesn't matter what sex the guru is. Everyone knows online gurus transcend all bodily associations.
Dee |
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I dont understand this thread at all .. what are you guys talking about ???
This is only 'men thing' right ??? ok so I will forget it
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| From your earlier descriptions of Iron John yoga, I've been imagining a guru who looks like an action movie hero, has the 'atti-tude' of a drill sargeant, and is into cauldren-full quantities of liquidised goodness-knows-what as power drinks.
Fee
Edited by Orbilia 2005-03-14 5:50 AM
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State |
Iron John was a book written by Robert Bly in about 1990. It dealt with
"men's issues"...communication, emotion, expectation, and so on. The title is drawn
from a Grim's Fairy Tale, which touches on issues of a young man's relation with his
mentor.
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State | Orbilia - 2005-03-14 5:45 AM
From your earlier descriptions of Iron John yoga, I've been imagining a guru who looks like an action movie hero, has the 'atti-tude' of a drill sargeant, and is into cauldren-full quantities of liquidised goodness-knows-what as power drinks.
Fee
So you are nominating Arnold Schwarzenegger for guru? I received one for Clint Eastwood
earlier, but I find Jack Nicolson more interesting if we are doing screen actors. (Sorry, but
Sean Penn is *very very* off-the-list.) Brando might work....imagine how young Brando
could have mixed "Steeeelllllaaaa" and "Ommmmm". Keep those ballots coming.
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| Where's the Sean Connery nomination? C'mon, the original James Bond? He's got the action-hero image down! Plus the gadgets, drinks, and pretty girls. What more could you boys want in a Guru? Orrrrr...if I may be so presumptious (as I was told ni the first 20 minutes at work today by a woman who clearly adores conflict and has some serious martyr issues  ) as to suggest a fictional guru - what about Thomas Crown? Again, the gadgets, the brains, the adventure - and he gets the girl in the end too! Orrrr...I could take my schoolgirl crushes somewhere else. |
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Iron John Yoga
