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| Hello all,
I have been practicing anusara for about 3-4 years now. Because I have two small children, my practice is limited to at-home twice a week and once a week at my local studio. My problem is this. Every time I leave my class (regardless of who is teaching), I feel out of place, or perhaps not the right type of person who is successful at yoga. Like most of us, I compare myself to the rest of my kula, and I don't fit. I don't see many "part-timers", mothers of young children, etc. My goal with yoga is to not adopt a new lifestyle, but to integrate a physical system which respects and nurtures the self, into my own belief system. This has been difficult as it seems that anusara and other forms of yoga gently urge you into a common type (the full time, vegan, workshop going, hybrid car driving type). I am not able to nor want to be that "type". Are their others like me out there or do they drop-out with frustration?
Please read with sense of humor . . .,
bigmamma |
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| Hi - I, too, am a mother of a young todler with hopes of more to come. I, too, sometimes feel out of place amongst the beautiful 20-somethings and the hard-core veganites. But I'm always reminded of how great it is that I've chosen to do this for myself and make time for it, even with a child. For some reason, this thought always leaves me satisfied with my own yoga practice and know that, given my particular situation, I am doing everything I can and want to do. The hardest thing for me is the "pregnancy skin" tummy that no one else seems to have! But whatever the issue, I think doing yoga at a studio while being a mom is a difficult thing to swing and if you're managing to swing once a week, you should be very satisfied with yourself.
Joanna |
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| I'm right there with you guys. I homeschool my 10 and 6.5 year olds, so it's very difficult for me to get to the studio more than once a week (and even that becomes difficult sometimes). Fortunately, I'm the type who enjoys practicing at home on her own.
And Lord knows, I'm no Vegan! 
Our teachers are very supportive and realize we all have differents goals. While some dig the whole lifestyle, others are content with the physical practice alone, and the teachers are very cool with that (the studio owner came to Yoga after being in a terrible car accident ~ it was only about physcial therapy for her). They have that, "Take what you need and leave the rest behind" attitude.
I don't know, maybe it's because I live in the Midwest, but our classes are full of all kinds of people, not just one type.
Keep going! And keep taking just what you need.  |
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| I don't suggest you give up, but you might consider finding a class that's more mommy friendly. Finding a place to practice where you feel at home is paramount. Your practice should be liberating not confining. The people you practice with and among should make you feel loved and supported...even if you never talk to them or learn their names. You should find a place where you feel comfortable and not self-conscious.
Do you hear the theme song to "Cheers" swelling in the background? LOL!!!
Seriously, sometimes it's your attitude and sometimes you just find a studio or timeslot or a particular class and the vibe of the people is just wrong.
Some places I just don't like to practice because the vibe of the people is just wrong for me. Some places just feel like home. I teach at one studio and it's like day care. All the moms bring their babies and just lay them on the mats next to them. Pregnant women coming in and doing their practices alongside everyone else. It's a whole lot of estrogen! I love it there and you probably would too, but it's not typical and it's a little overwhelming for me sometimes.
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| Another thing, I go to an anusara studio a lot and I don't sense that there is a type there...at least not the type you're speaking of. There are a lot of yoga mommies out there. I would start seeking some of them out so you can get a little support and maybe organize a way to practice together. Plan to go to the same classes or invite teachers to come give small group privates at one of your homes or ask your favorite teachers to put together a yoga class for mommies. Sometimes, you have to create the ideal environment for yourself. If you want a class with like minded or like looking people then search them out and gather them all together in one place and have a class. If you coordinate it properly, you can get one girl to look after all your kids at the same time while you're all in class and don't have to pay separate babysitters.
Ask around you might actually find a few mommies out there feeiing like you.
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| bigmomma, you should move to philly.
it's ok to be who you are. Yoga is not about the clothes, the hybrid cars, the veganism (as a status symbol), the classes or the workshops. Yoga is about healing your body, exploring yourself and discovering samadhi.
i find that when i avoid commericalized yoga, i tend to feel much better about myself. One would think that i would feel 'great' about my yoga practice because i'm doing it. I have daily practice, i teach yoga classes, i'm vegetarian and i do earthy things. I'm not a mom yet, but i will be someday and i plan on homeschooling--so i know things will change.
I am a full=time yoga teacher and my husband works as a writer. Unlike many of my friends who are very wealthy, i do not have the luxury of going to a lot of workshops and teacher training weeks. I do not does not have this luxury. i do not get to take class even weekly--partly because of my teaching schedule and partly because of my finances. i do dedicate myself to taking a teacher class with Dharma Mittra in NYC (2 hrs from where i live) once every month. i save up to pay for the class and i often carpool with other, wealthier yogins who are going to NYC for a 'fancier' workshop or just for a 'fun class' at their favorite NYC studio (many of my friends will drive to NYC on saturday morning, go to a yoga class, then lunch, then a play, then dinner, then another yoga class, and then go home--sometimes they go shopping too--an average day with them costs me over $200 before i pay for gas. when i just go to my workshop and pay for my part of the gas, the total is $40. so, much more affordable!).
Truthfully, all you need to do to be a 'good' yogin is to fit it into your life authenticly. you don't need more than one class a week, if you have your home practice (which can be as little as ten minutes a day). Also, realize that everything you do can be yoga practice. Being a mom is practicing yoga--if you're doing it fully. So, that is practicing!
Yoga only asks you to be yourself. you don't have to be any particular 'type' and thank goodness for it or the world would be boring! |
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| Welcome, bigmamma! You will fit in PERFECTLY here, you'll find we are a wildly varying group - from hardcore vegan earth-savers to beer-drinkin Harley riders. Yogis come in all shapes, sizes, and personal tastes!
Are you sure that you're not just holding yourself up to a perceived "yogi standard" rather than actually getting judged by your classmates? In the past, I've felt like I wasn't pure enough in my practice for some of the same reasons, but eventually I realized that I can only do the best that I can do in the present moment. Sometimes it may not look like much effort from the outside but feel like a herculean task when I have a lot going on in my life. So I can't rely on how things may appear, only on whether or not I feel like I'm doing the best I can.
If this "judged" feeling is really not coming from inside you and is indeed part of your class's culture, then maybe it would be best to move on to a new class. The love and support of your fellow yogis is one of the best things about yoga! |
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Expert Yogi
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| welcome bigmama and be sure there are MANY out there like you I took some chicken to a yoga potluck recently and it disappeared almost as quicky as the first bottle of wine...  Yes, there are a lot of people who fit the type but many who you THINK are the type aren't really. Somewhere recently there was a discussion here about that. I personally feel responsible for going against type as regularly as possible just so other "normal people" in class can feel normal, too. I won't wear the expensive tights because a little local place will customize mine for me. Yes, I have a hemp t-shirt, but only because my darling daughter gave it to me as a gift  No, I'm not a vegetarian of any hypenate and don't plan to ever be one. And I'm not a massage therapist, organic gardener or past life regression therapist, either. I do however, wear Birkenstocks because they feel good on my poor genetically challenged feet |
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| hey there, big momma! I have a 6 yr old dd and when I started doing yoga 4ish years ago, spent a year doing only videos before I found my first class.
I think there are as many different types of Anusara classes as there are of any other style of yoga classes - why? because of the teachers. I attend a fabulouls Anusara class on a weekly basis. The students are anywhere from 25 to 65 (and in one class 85), overweight or incredibly toned (childless *****es). What makes the class great is that we all accept who we are and where we are (Ok, I never accept where I am, regardless of the fact that my teacher constantly comments about my "awesome" progress).
Shop around - be a "yoga diva" - find the style that suits you at the studio that suits you at the time of day that suits you. When you are ready, the teacher will come!
Good luck
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| Yoga Guy had a good point about finding a class with other Moms in it. I've found more Moms, particularly SAHM's come to classes in the morning right after the kids are dropped off to school. At least that's what I see in my regular studio.
One of the things I love about Anusara is that sense of Kula. Everyone brings something to the table. A good Anusara teacher will make a point to honor everyone's experiences off and on the mat.
Shopping around for a new class might not be a bad idea. |
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| Phew! Thank Goodness I'm not alone and that there ARE yogans out there with a sense of humor. Sometimes it all seems so serious and rigid. You know, like when you try to lighten things up with a joke and receive only blank stares and the cricket chirrping in the background. Good points, all of you, especially about the morning classes and creating my own mommy group (I'm used to having to suck up and get the energy going). And thank goodness there are yogans who are broke, eat meat, drink wine, etc. I think I'll look for that thread Tourist (bless you) was talking about.
I went to the my local gym last night to lift weights with my husband. As I was contemplating my pity party, I had a little moment. I was doing yoga (as one of you suggested), even while doing the most macho of things with my body. So instead of just dropping the weights off and picking the kids up from the nursery I got on the mat and stretched with yoga moves from the areas I'd worked (I don't know if this is okay but it felt great).
I'd hate to sacrafice my anusara studio (only one in town) but perhaps a change of scenery is in order. Come to think of it, it is considered "the best" of all the studios so it may attract a little bit of snoot . . . Well, I'll figure out how to answer all of you personally in the future. For now, the baby is fussing and the 4 year old is rummaging in my makeup,
with invigorated heart,
bigmamma |
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| I went to the my local gym last night to lift weights with my husband. As I was contemplating my pity party, I had a little moment. I was doing yoga (as one of you suggested), even while doing the most macho of things with my body. So instead of just dropping the weights off and picking the kids up from the nursery I got on the mat and stretched with yoga moves from the areas I'd worked (I don't know if this is okay but it felt great).
what wouldn't be ok about it? i think it's a great thing to do, and i encourage all of my clients to do yoga before and after any other sort of physical activity. Sun salutations make a great 'warm up' and doing something after to stretch the body and feel good is really important too (esp for preventing tightnesses!). My husband always does about 20 minutes of yoga after his weight training. He only takes class once a week (and it's free, because it's at the gym, where i teach, and so our membership there is free too. we love free things.)
I'd hate to sacrafice my anusara studio (only one in town) but perhaps a change of scenery is in order. Come to think of it, it is considered "the best" of all the studios so it may attract a little bit of snoot . . .
you don't have to give up everything. do your practice at home (at the gym, where ever) and do you thing. Yoga is for your practice, for your life and needs, not anything else. you don't need to go anywhere, be anything, or do anything special. Just put yourself out there--do the yoga! If you want to go to class once a week, then do that. If you want to go to another studio, then that's fine too. You don't have to tell anyone that youre going or why or anything else. THe practice is for you, right? 
have fun with the babies. |
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| bigmamma - 2005-06-29 11:26 AM
You know, like when you try to lighten things up with a joke and receive only blank stares and the cricket chirrping in the background.
Oh my God, that's so me! I come from a family and group of friends who literally *thrive* on humor, so we're always trying to make each other laugh with a snide comment or a crack. It's VERY hard for me to turn that off in Yoga class (I love getting into a difficult pose and then whispering to the person next to me "Psst! I'm stuck!!"). I've learned over time that the teacher can joke around (which I appreciate more than she knows), but I have to keep my smart ass comments to myself. Otherwise I get the dreaded blank stare. ----> 
Though there was a woman who cracked me up in one of my Restorative classes. Our teacher had me demonstrate shoulderstand, and we heard "SHOWOFF!" from the back of the studio. It seemed so inappropriate, it was hysterical. She was my kinda chick!
Too bad we can't take classes together. Then again, maybe the teacher would end up separating us. 
Edited by Kabu 2005-06-29 2:45 PM
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Expert Yogi
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| Kabu - I am a teacher who very much appreciates humour. Someone (maybe Swami Rama) said "never trust a spritual leader who has no sense of humour." Not that I consider myself a spiritual leader, but still... I subbed for another teacher recently and the class so totally did not "get" my humour. I was a tad disappointed. 
I remember showing Bharadvajasana II to a class for the first time and a sort of goofy accent from the back row said "you a funny lady!" Which is what I saw expressed on the faces of the class (I do WHAT with my left leg? ) It just lightened the load and gave everyone permission to just try it and not make it a big deal if they didnt'get the full pose.
And BTW, I have been thinking of you lately when I play with my little kiddies at work. Can you imagine why? Hint: I work with babies and toddlers... |
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| Kabu - I am a teacher who very much appreciates humour. Someone (maybe Swami Rama) said "never trust a spritual leader who has no sense of humour." Not that I consider myself a spiritual leader, but still... I subbed for another teacher recently and the class so totally did not "get" my humour. I was a tad disappointed.
It's interesting to me that Big Mamma's classes seem to have no element of humour or joy. Most Anusara classes and workshops I've attended have been joyful experiences with lots of humour. I was at a workshop recently where someone asked if anyone other than her took our yoga seriously. The teacher leading the workshop said that of course we took our yoga seriously, just not ourselves.
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| An Anusara class with no humor? Sounds like counterfeit Anusara to me!
I don't think that all Anusara classes have a great kula. I go to one class on Wed that has been going for several years - THAT class has amazing kula (when my dh had a bike accident several fellow yogis made heartfelt offers of assistance that were much appreciated). However, the Saturday class .... not as concerned with their fellow yogins as they are with their new Prada purses. shrug.
I think Big Momma, Jean, Kabu and Tourist (and I) should get together for a nice Anusara class - maybe Christine would lead it. I think we'd have fun.. I'm pretty sure we'd have lots of laughs!
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| tourist - 2005-06-30 1:34 AM
And BTW, I have been thinking of you lately when I play with my little kiddies at work. Can you imagine why? Hint: I work with babies and toddlers...
I'm just happy someone thinks of me in a postive way. Wait, they were positive thoughts, right? Now that I think of it, babies and toddlers can drive a person nuts. I know...you were thinking, "Oy, these KIDS! No wonder Kabu is off her rocker!"
Gruve, that would be the best class. We'd need the guys in on it too, blending in some Iron John Yoga, Beer Sequences and the Non-Dangling "parts" chant. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| The older toddlers DO drive me nuts! Give me little, preverbal kids any day! But no, I was playing peekaboo with someone the other day and thought peek-kabu! The mind is a weird thing...  |
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Expert Yogi
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| Melissa - sounds like a plan. We could meet at Bruce's or my place so we could hit the hot tub after or Stefan's so we could get right to the great SA beaches! |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State |
By "older toddler", do you mean the young people in my workplace? |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| Bay Guy - I have also worked with people who claim to be adults but have toddler behaviour! My toughest years of work were when I had 2 year olds at work and teenagers at home - yowch! |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 2479
Location: A Blue State | I know people in their 30's who are less mature than my eight year old...then again,
I know people in their 70's who are at times similarly immature. Then again, some
people think that I am immature, especially when I have my version of a tantrum. |
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| I would love to practice ya'll! The "Prada purses"---Oi! I was in class one day and the woman next to me commented she liked my top, where did I get it. When I replied "Target", she says, "Well, I guess you get what you can".
I'm off to my class this morning with renewed spirit. We'll see if I can keep it up. Maybe I'm really dealing with feeling competitive. So hard not to as suburbia eats up my world.
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| BG - a saw a bumper sticker that said "you can only be young once but you can be immature forever."
Big Mamma - I guess you got what you could but let's hope she gets what she needs. I'm sure a great big hunk o' karma is awaiting her somewhere along the line. I hope it is sooner rather than later |
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| "Well, I guess you get what you can".<<
@@.... THUD... Are you kidding me??? IMO, Tarjhay has the BEST stuff! and Marshall's sometimes, too.... Danskin has licensed a line called "Freestyle" at Target that is great. OMG... you get what you can... snort... I have 3 pieces of "Chi chi Foo foo" yoga wear that didn't come from Marshalls and I love it... but I got it 1/2 off at a trunk show... otherwise, Target... oh forget it... get what you can my sweet patootie! .... sometimes I really don't like people
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Feeling defeated
