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 yoga & boozeModerators: Moderators Jump to page : 1 2 3 4 Now viewing page 4 [25 messages per page] | View previous thread :: View next thread |
| Yoga -> Yoga as Self-Realization | Message format |
tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442      | No - not worried about baby  She does love food but has a pretty healthy attitude toward it. I worried more when she was a teen and hanging around with skinny dancers.  I'm just curious - or maybe nosey  | ||
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| joscmt |
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tourist- be as nosy as you want!  It's taken me awhile to not be ashamed of my illness or who I am. I've been a compulsive binge eater for as long as I can remember. For me, it's not so much an addiction (although there is a physiological component there for sure)- I was never a sugar eater. Mine was more of compulsion and control. It was more of "oh, I want an "X", I'll eat an "X" without thinking of consequences. Maybe it came about because I was too scared to be risky in other areas (ie-drugs) I was always afraid of what others in authority would think- in steps my people-pleaser mode (that ultimately lead me to marry an alcoholic- who's now in recovery) I thought of consequences in every other aspect of my life. But I was in control with food (or so I thought) and I liked the feeling of being full- it numbed out the bad stuff. Now kieep in mind, for me, the bad stuff was a guy not talking to me or bad grades on a test, arguing with a friend. I wasn't abused as a child, I didn't grow up with alcoholics in my house. When I was stuffed, all I could think about was the feeling in my stomach. It eventually spiraled out of control- it got to where it was all I'd think about. I'd hide it in my car, around the house- I'd hide wrappers. I'd plan a binge days in advance knowing exactly what I'd eat. I didn't want people to know I was overweight from eating- I wanted them to think it was something else. Yeah, sick, silly thinking, I know.... There's a lot more to my story and I'd be happy to share it with you. As for the restaurant, I'm sure, subconsciously, it had something to do with it. I loved to cook, I had (have) a knack for combining different flavors, no need for recipes, etc. It sounded like a good idea. BUT, I've heard more laughter from people in 12-step- AA, OA, Al-Anon when they hear that an COA (compulsive overeater) and an alcoholic own a restaurant. It's the perfect scenario for both addictions. Food and/or drink was always in hand. I know A LOT of addicts in the restaurant industry. I think it doesn't breed addicts- because I think it is not something that happens overnight- but it does attract them. As a waiter- you have cash in your pocket at the end of the night. Kitchen or front- you work late in the day (so you sleep off the night before). When I was younger, we would work 10-12 hours/day, hit the bars after work (after having several martinis at work), hit the pizza stand on our way home at 4am, pass out and start all over again. I would say, easily, in my career, 70% of the people I have worked with were users of some sort- with 50% of them being addicts. Before my husband and I were in recovery, including ourselves, at least half of our staff (of 25) were abusers. Since we've been in recovery, the addicts have slowly left -it's not fun to work there as an addict anymore because no one validates your behavior- and the recovering addicts have come on board. We have people who do drink alcohol- they are just the ones who don't abuse it- and there is just one guy who is recovering from crack addiction who is teetering on the fence of recovery. I can say, now, though, with the exception of the teeterer, there are no active abusers in the restaurant anymore. It's the first place I have ever worked where there was recovery and people trying to better themselves. It can make for some cranky days though- recovery isn't easy- even with most of us a year or more into it. Addiction is an interesting beast. I used alcohol as a substitute for food. I felt it was more socially acceptable. But alcohol was easy for me to quit (we don't drink in OA for a variety of reasons- 1. the sugar 2. being drunk opens up the opportunity to overeat 3. sometimes, giving up one addiction can lead to another). Food on the other hand was tricky. Once I got abstinent, got a food plan, I would see my hand venturing off towards food. When my brain was completely unaware! I've learned that I have to be on my guard all the time because, if not, I will eat without even paying attention. My body had to relearn hunger- it had been years since I had felt hunger! Someone likened drugs of choice to a dragon in a den. With drinking and drugs, once the dragon is asleep you run like hell from the den. With food, you have to go in an rub the dragon's belly 5x/day (depending on your food plan) and hope you don't wake it up. Unfortunately, you can't give up food altogether. That's why, for me, OA/HOW works. It's structure and rigidity keeps my in the moment. I have accountabillity to someone else every day. It's too rigid for some people. But the way I see it, pro athletes don't get to do what they want all the time. They have rules to follow. Kids have rules, monks have rules- as I became an adult and began to live on my own, I had no rules. NO RULES was the rule. I wasn't accountable to anyone. Now I have a set of rules I live by. Taking a scale into a restaurant or to the dinner table and measuring my portions seems weird to some people, but it humbles me. It reminds me that I am in the den petting the dragon. The scale keeps me quiet- and I can't wake te dragon if I'm quiet. WHOA! long post! It's becoming my signature I guess!  | |||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | Thanks for that awesome reply! I was nodding my head all the way through as it sounds so much like what I have heard both of my kids say about the restaurant biz. It is an ideal environment for all kinds of unhealthy living. Tony Bourdain - need I say more? My daughter was always a pretty serious eater - loved food from day one. Spit out any junk I tried to feed her out of a jar and insisted (at 11 months, mind you!) on the good home made stuff she seemed to know was in the fridge  Flavour combos - yeah - one thing she didn't like was green beans so I mixed them in apple sauce. It is still one of her favourite combos to this day. She's 23. At age 3 she would go in the fridge and get out a couple of eggs, crack them onto a plate (to look at them, I guess?) and I would find them there on the kitchen floor. At 8 she would come home and make a salad for an after school snack Once the Food Network came on TV she watched (with her brother) constantly and learned a lot of the basics from David Rosengarden. In Grade 12 she took the Cafeteria course and had to rescue a hollandaise someone started too early. She kept it going for 1 1/2 hours without it "breaking." Tried to stay out of the food biz because it was her passion, but kept gravitating toward restaurant jobs so now she is going for it big time and hoping to get a good placement for her chef's apprenticeship. We're pretty proud of her  And glad when she comes home to visit so she can cook for us! | ||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | ZB - I have heard that as well. Some messed up folks trying to "help" other people Both my kids worked in family restaurants in high school and my son said that the kitchen employees tended to be a couple of teenagers, a middle aged woman refugee and a couple of guys who either through addicitons or whatever were totally unable to fit in with general society. It is a whole universe unto itself. | ||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | ZB - I have heard that as well. Some messed up folks trying to "help" other people Both my kids worked in family restaurants in high school and my son said that the kitchen employees tended to be a couple of teenagers, a middle aged woman refugee and a couple of guys who either through addicitons or whatever were totally unable to fit in with general society. It is a whole universe unto itself. | ||
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| joscmt |
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| It is a whole universe. People just stare blankly when I tell them some of the stories- of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. They assume that it has the same standards as a corporate office. I have naked people, been offered drugs, cussed at, cussed to, you name it... we used to joke around that a kitchen was like a pirate ship- lots of cussing, booze, sexual stuffs (jokes, harassment, etc), fire, knives, theft... aarrgghhh! you name it. Now, we try to tame the beast here at my place, but it doesn't always work out that way. Sexual harassment is a no brainer- I don't tolerate it. That movie "Waiting" is pretty bad, but also pretty accurate...at least for the majority of restaurants I have worked at... zb- funny you should mention therapy centers. On another website, I connected with a woman who needed help with her food addiction- and she was an eating disorder and addiction counselor! I thought, how can this woman help others when she can't love herself......of course, I also know that it's a heck of a lot easier to look at everyone else's stuff that it is to look at yours. It's easy avoidance. Hell, I spent the better part of 10 years looking at my husband's flaws and pretending I didn't have any! Ha! healthy, no? hahahahaa......oh.....those were the days..... oh wait, no they weren't , they sucked... | |||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | 10 years? I am over 30 years with this husband (ok, he is my first ) and he is still way mmore screwed up than I am | ||
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| joscmt |
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| It sounds a little weird to me... but hey, whatever floats your boat- it's not up to me to pass judgement! At least you aren't calling him the ol' ball and chain.... right?? Or tootsie wootsie? tee hee | |||
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| GreenJello |
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442 | I say "first husband" when I want him to smarten up Hasn't worked yet... Great quote, there GJ. Love it! | ||
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| GreenJello |
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tourist - 2006-08-22 8:16 PM I say "first husband" when I want him to smarten up Hasn't worked yet... Time to move on to the beatings.... Or tell him you've met a much younger guy from Cincinnati.... Great quote, there GJ. Love it! Thanks! | |||
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