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| I LEARNT yoga from a guru when I was 15 years old and used to do it for some time but was not regular. now I am doing the practise from the past five months everyday. Now I am 32 year old.
I am practising asanas, mudras,bhandas, and meditation on the chakras.
As I understand the way in which sex is looked at is different alteast from the practising point of view in Rajayoga and Tantra.
I had serious problem with the concept of brahmacharya because I felt i will never be able to practise it and therefore not be able to achieve much spiritual heigts. ( I am also married, though I have heard experts say that it is not the most imoprtant issue)
I felt tantra is more easier for me in the sense that it seems to not advise avoiding sexual feelings totally.
The issue is whenever I see a beautiful girl and when I am close to her I do get sexually excited. But I started visualizing that instead of indulging in it I could take that energy, send it from my moodadhara towards my sahasrara. I also tried doing Yoni mudra during such instants. But I am slighly confused.
Should I avoid the company of women to keep my sexual stimulus at minimum ?
Or should I use that energy to convert it into creative anergy ?
What exactly does tantra and kundalini yoga say about this ?
Other details:
1. I don't have sexual relationship with anyone other than my wife.
2.My sexual drive seems to be normal and sometimes high.
3.Sometimes in the company of women I do get excited and I have problem with blocked and frequent urination.
Am I still stuck at my mooladhara ?
Experts please help....anyone's sugestions are welcome.....
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| sathya - 2006-12-29 9:13 AM
I LEARNT yoga from a guru when I was 15 years old and used to do it for some time but was not regular. now I am doing the practise from the past five months everyday. Now I am 32 year old.
===> That means you are very young!
I am practising asanas, mudras,bhandas, and meditation on the chakras.
===> Did you learn all these at 15 and continue to do todate?
As I understand the way in which sex is looked at is different alteast from the practising point of view in Rajayoga and Tantra.
===> How do you get this idea?
I had serious problem with the concept of brahmacharya because I felt i will never be able to practise it and therefore not be able to achieve much spiritual heigts. ( I am also married, though I have heard experts say that it is not the most imoprtant issue)
===> What was the problem? Complete abstinence from sexual thought?
I felt tantra is more easier for me in the sense that it seems to not advise avoiding sexual feelings totally.
===> Where did you get this learning?
The issue is whenever I see a beautiful girl and when I am close to her I do get sexually excited. But I started visualizing that instead of indulging in it I could take that energy, send it from my moodadhara towards my sahasrara. I also tried doing Yoni mudra during such instants. But I am slighly confused.
===> You are confused, that means you do not know what you are doing. That is called confusion.
Should I avoid the company of women to keep my sexual stimulus at minimum ?
===> You should keep company of women only for what it is meant for. Tell your problem frankly to your wife ONLY if she is an open and intelligent person. Take her with you in the company of beautiful women and consider that your wife is the most beautiful amongst them. Meditate on this thought until you really feel so.
Why to do like this? : (Answer to impending question from BBB!) Physical beauty is only good enough to arouse physical sex. If you love any woman, (and in my opinion, I shall assume she is very clean, etc.), and use that emotion, you should be able to have the sex with the same enjoyment as with any other physically better woman. Of course, I feel that a woman should keep her body attractive in a healthy way.
Or should I use that energy to convert it into creative anergy ?
===> How shall you do that?
What exactly does tantra and kundalini yoga say about this ?
===> I thought you already know this. Now, you are asking. I think you wish to discuss this.
You have half knowledge in the field of Yoga+Sex and your practice has not completed that knowledge. So,you wish to discuss with that knowledge as the base. I suggest that you re-learn Yoga from an experienced NON - Tantra Yoga Teacher.
Other details:
1. I don't have sexual relationship with anyone other than my wife.
2.My sexual drive seems to be normal and sometimes high.
3.Sometimes in the company of women I do get excited and I have problem with blocked and frequent urination.
Am I still stuck at my mooladhara ?
Experts please help....anyone's sugestions are welcome.....
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| Thank you for the trouble that you have taken to answer my questions. But with due repsect I felt very uncomfortable with your reply. That is beacuse I am basically wrong in many things |
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| I would like to know why most honest opinion above has been edited ?
Edited by sathya 2006-12-30 12:21 PM
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| Kindly give me honest opinions and tell me where I am wrong, saying that I am confused and I have half knowledge in a belittling way is hurtful and gives me negative impulses. I am sorry, whats wrong in expressing the truth ? |
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| Anybody claiming to have full knowledge here ? I am really sorry, didnt expect this knid of reply from learned men, please don't edit this, there is nothing to edit in this. |
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| truth is not easily conveyed across this medium, my friend.
and issues such as this are best dealt with in person by an experienced teacher.
when you fire off a very intimate question into cyberspace, you kind of open yourself up.
why do you feel belittled by Neel's response?
is it not true that you are confused?
if you did in fact have full knowledge, would you not be confused?
...
dealing with our sex drive is part of the yogic path, eh?
i think it could be initially more important to learn how this pattern is:
a) hardwired into our brain (is it?)
b) a part of our samskara
c) imposed upon us by societal forces
so maybe you can use your sexual energy to spur those thoughts...
and you have a wife!
maybe you can use this energy to put the spurs to her, eh? eh?
additionally,
what kind of response were you looking for?
i think Neel's advice is actually very good.
point by point.
...
don't give up on us, we're actually pretty decent people 
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| Thanks. I read in a book by Swami Satyananda Saraswati about the slighlty two difference stances that Rajayoga and Tantra seem to take on "Sex" (Meditation from the tantras)
I actually had no much problem in practisng yoga except the fact that I did not know this issue of how sex is looked at in yoga. I had my confusions, I agree that I don't know much on this subject, and I would like to know how to handle sexual energy.
What I have understood so far is that the natural sexual desire that we have can be truned into some kind of creative energy or spiritual energy and i think I have been able to do that to some extent. If anyvody can tell me more, I would be happy.
Edited by sathya 2006-12-30 12:54 PM
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| I agree with Andrew and edited out sathya's insulting reply and explained why to him via a PM. I think sathya is a troll but will give him the benfit of the doubt unless he becomes personally insulting again.
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| sathya - 2006-12-30 10:10 AM
Thank you for the trouble that you have taken to answer my questions. But with due repsect I felt very uncomfortable with your reply. That is beacuse I am basically wrong in many things
Darling Satya: I apologize if you felt insulted by my response. I did not mean that. I thought I was answering your query. Though I do not like to give complete instruction in a post, let me summarise in other words:
-If you are reading a book by Satyananda Saraswati or any other person, make sure: a) Their background b) Intended audience. Each instruction is not for each kind of student.
-The knowedge in the book is only information. To get it in reality, you have to practice.
- But, your practice depends on your background. Since you are married, your practice should match your marriage, and not that of Satyanandji Maharaj. Many great full time celebate saints advise their students to take up marriage and have kids.
- As for how to handle your sex energy, I gave my opinon in the earlier post. Please read it again. Also, I can guarantee you that there is nothing wrong in having a good sex (within limitation) with your wife. In fact, that is essential to yoga practice.
I hope that helps.
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| It doesnt make me feel good to hear sorry from an elder person like you. My apologies if I have hurt you. I just felt there is no warmth in your answer and just dry comment, I could be totally wrong but I sincerely felt that. But I know the way I expressed it is wrong but I did it in moment of anger but when I went back to your answer and read it I stilll felt the same feeling again about the following comments:
=====>You are confused, that means you do not know what you are doing. That is called confusion.
I did not undersatnd why you explained such a simple word to me in this manner, looked like a taunt to me.
===>"I thought you already know this. Now, you are asking."
again I felt this sentatnce was like taunting me.
====>"I suggest that you re-learn Yoga from an experienced NON - Tantra Yoga Teacher."
Two things you said: re-learn: so I felt you are questioning the people who have taught me yoga so far. And you said Non- Tantra : which mean you have something against tantra. Tantra I felt is a very powerful way and nice to work on the chakras.
====>"You should keep company of women only for what it is meant for. Tell your problem frankly to your wife ONLY if she is an open and intelligent person. Take her with you in the company of beautiful women and consider that your wife is the most beautiful amongst them. Meditate on this thought until you really feel so.
Why to do like this? : (Answer to impending question from BBB!) Physical beauty is only good enough to arouse physical sex. If you love any woman, (and in my opinion, I shall assume she is very clean, etc.), and use that emotion, you should be able to have the sex with the same enjoyment as with any other physically better woman. Of course, I feel that a woman should keep her body attractive in a healthy way."
This is perfectly fine, I have no probmem with you answers pertainig to this. Infact it was very helpful and thoughtful.I need to reflect upon what you said very deeply.
I might be very stupid and wrong but I do want to seek truth. If you felt offended please think of me as your younger brother and forgive me.
Sathya
Edited by sathya 2006-12-31 1:19 AM
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| Neel, please answer this:
When in work and with some female friends I do feel some amount of attraction towards them. And when I feel so, actually I don't express it , infact I am very good with them and never miss-behave in any manner whatsoever, doesnt mean that I am suprressing it either. I also know a lot of my friends who are women are very comfortable with me and they have expressed that also.
But there are a few instances though they felt comfortable, I felt there is an attraction between us which is not love...just physical. I love all my friends and students both boys and girls thats a different issue.
And whenever I felt this physical attraction I would try to paint or write a poem not to avoid it ..but consiously convert it into something beautitful and craetive. I never felt gulity about feeling attrcted to opposite sex beacuse I think it is natural, but indulging further in it will hamper my spiritual life is what I think.
So avoiding their company is not a solution I thought and it is a beautiful feeling to get attracted.To convert it into real love and craetive enrgy which can mutually uplift both the girl and me spiritually is what I believe is great. Am i wrong ? please tell me. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
    
| So sathya, you are specifically asking how to convert sexual energy to a creative, perhaps artistic energy? Do you already practice an art such as drawing. painting or writing poetry? If so, all you have to do is try for yourself. When you have one of these times, take a moment or two to draw something or write your feelings. See how it works for you. |
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| sathya - 2006-12-31 1:36 AM
Neel, please answer this:
===> Dear Sathya. Please see below ===>, Firstly, I am not offended by you in any way. In fact, I do not know what your response was, so I am enjoying the bliss of ignorance.
===> Just to clarify the reason for my response which you perceived as 'taunting'. That response is abrupt because, you must accept that your understanding related to sex+Yoga is not matured and that has resulted in your original question. If you think your understanding is very good, then my answer will be redundant. Many a times, very good yoga students have preconception as correct of wrong understanding and then they can not understand a correct instruction later. This is called 'bhraantidarshana'.
vyaadhistyaanasanshayapramaadaalasyaaviratibhrantidarshaalabdhabhuumikattvaanavasthitattvaani chttavikshepaaste.ntaraayaaH. Patanjali (you can search the word I gave, like find Waldo!)
When in work and with some female friends I do feel some amount of attraction towards them. And when I feel so, actually I don't express it , infact I am very good with them and never miss-behave in any manner whatsoever, doesnt mean that I am suprressing it either. I also know a lot of my friends who are women are very comfortable with me and they have expressed that also.
But there are a few instances though they felt comfortable, I felt there is an attraction between us which is not love...just physical. I love all my friends and students both boys and girls thats a different issue.
And whenever I felt this physical attraction I would try to paint or write a poem not to avoid it ..but consiously convert it into something beautitful and craetive. I never felt gulity about feeling attrcted to opposite sex beacuse I think it is natural, but indulging further in it will hamper my spiritual life is what I think.
===> Since you are asking this, one must assume that you feel that 'you have a fear of indulging further'. If you do not have that, then the question is redundant. For overcoming that situation, my suggestions: a) the one I already gave in the first place which you like. b) the other is: to consider those beautiful girls as your mother or your blood sister. And, actually behave with them like that for a while.
(For example, when I came to USA, I had a wrong understanding of history of Africans and I had a hard time to accept that they were extremely artistic even beyond Europeans. This was because of my own learning of black colour as something xxxx. Now, what I did is: I actually made some black friends, went to their house and behaved with them as if they are my real relatives (not wives!!!) To my surprise, it took me more than a year to assimilate this feeling. When I wanted to marry, I actually considered one black girl, but alas she was non vegetarian!)
So avoiding their company is not a solution I thought and it is a beautiful feeling to get attracted.To convert it into real love and craetive enrgy which can mutually uplift both the girl and me spiritually is what I believe is great. Am i wrong ? please tell me.
===> No it is not a beautiful thing to get sexually attracted. It is natural to an average person. But, for one who wants to progress in Yoga, it is not beautiful. And, there is nothing to convert that into something else. You should convert that into exactly opposite feeling.
vitarkabaadhane pratipakshabhaavanam... Patanjali
===> About NON-Tantra: Tantra is a razor path, not for each person. It must be learnt only from a Guru in his/her presence. And, as I said instruction given in the book is informative, not always contextual. So, if a writing is by a Sanyaasi and is for one who wants to go in that direction, it can be useless to one who is married and wants to continue in that situation to achieve the goal.
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| Dear Neel,
Thank you very much. There is lots to learn  And I am ready to learn. I have learnt a little sanskrit and I underatood to some extent what you said.
1.Yes I agree my knowledge in yoga+sex in not much.
2. No I don't have a fear about indulging further with a girl, interms of action, but in her absence I do get sexual feelings about her.
3. I considered the fact that I could consider them as my sisters.( You know in India we do that, but many a times quite hypocritically too) , But I felt it is a kind of escapism, can't I do that without considering her as my sister. Actually I have discussed it with a copule of girl friends who are very good. They said they are ok with me. I too feel the same when I am with them.But I am not able to completly stop my sexual feelings towards them in their absence. But I felt there is a way out without considering them as my sisters. Moreover I would feel terrible If I do consider them as my sisters and some such sexual feeling crosses my mind. For the fear of that I felt I should try it this way and you seem to tell me that there is no way.
Help...
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| sathya - 2007-01-01 2:54 AM
Dear Neel,
Thank you very much. There is lots to learn And I am ready to learn. I have learnt a little sanskrit and I underatood to some extent what you said.
1.Yes I agree my knowledge in yoga+sex in not much.
2. No I don't have a fear about indulging further with a girl, interms of action, but in her absence I do get sexual feelings about her.
3. I considered the fact that I could consider them as my sisters. ( You know in India we do that, but many a times quite hypocritically too ) , But I felt it is a kind of escapism, can't I do that without considering her as my sister. Actually I have discussed it with a copule of girl friends who are very good. They said they are ok with me. I too feel the same when I am with them.But I am not able to completly stop my sexual feelings towards them in their absence. But I felt there is a way out without considering them as my sisters. Moreover I would feel terrible If I do consider them as my sisters and some such sexual feeling crosses my mind. For the fear of that I felt I should try it this way and you seem to tell me that there is no way.
Help...
Gee, you like discussion (that is what I had said earlier). Let me put it this way: If the girl is extremely attractive (I mean physically) and she will attract anybody, and you are in a company of such a girl regularly, and you are able to not get attracted at all, meaning that later her thought does not come to your mind (as you already you said it comes), then you would not need any yoga practice. You will be one amongst billions. Therefore, yoga practice is necessary. I gave you two methods. You can invent your own method if you do not wish to follow mine. If you consider the girl as your sister, and still have sexual feelings about her in her absence such as dream or otherwise, that feeling will disappear if you make a serious attempt to make her your sister or better mother! as I suggested. |
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| Yes...Looks like i do like to discuss. Thanks. Slowly I am getting attracted to your idea
I will try this time. But an adament person that I am still looking for my own way to hadle it.
Yes she is very attractive but I actually like the idea of considering her my blood sister but i will have to prepare myself before that, and convince myslef that you are right...and spiritual path is something which i cannot forgo for any reason...for I have to find a meaning for my name..
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Sathyajith !
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how to handle sexual energy
