|
|
| Well when it comes to girls against boys thats a different thing the girls will always manage to control the situation, they run rings around boys!
Female of the species is more deadlier than the male - Rudyard Kipling
Edited by raquel 2007-08-03 12:09 PM
|
|
| |
|
| cyndi:
the female warrior aspect is incredibly scary because it takes a lot to get a female to that point--this seems to be the case at the archetypal level too--when a male in the same situation would act more quickly. it is interesting.
i was also a rough-and-tumble girl who spent a lot of time in rough and competitive play. but i did notice that boys played differently and treated me differently when i played with them. i have many very old journals written in grammar school about them. it is interesting to read.
rachel:
(did i spell your name wrong? if so, sorry!)
i should assert that i'm not really 'worried' about boys or raising boys or worrying about their "violent toys" either way.  I'm just thinking about it abstractly.
i was reading some materials about 'raising nonvoilent males' that came out of 1970s feminist theory which basicly asserted that boys should be encouraged to work from consensus in their play groups, that they should be encouraged to teamwork building activities and away from competition, and that they should be discouraged from using any tool as a weapon of any kind. some of these theorists asserted that boys and girls are inherently the same, so if we raise them with the same standards--and those standards of teamwork, etc that they felt women were 'better at' were the prized ones--then boys would naturally go that way. whereas other theorists took the view that boys were "naturally" problematic and had to be 'extensively trained away from' their inherent tendencies. with this, they suggested that boys not get any unstructured play, unless that play was exclusively with girls.
when i read the article posted, and it talked about the problem of "violent toys for boys" (setting aside the violence of the bible and what those toys do and represent) and how they wanted to move their children away from violent toys.
i think that, for myself, i'm problematizing between two extremes: the "boys will be boys" extreme where, as in my experience as a girl-child there were a lot of abuses of this term towards me (eg, a boy touches me in a sexual manner--i was 8, he was 13--and i was told "boys will be boys.") and the other extreme of "violent toys make boys violent." (which i don't think is true, but i do think that certain violent images may desensitize them to real violence and it's impact that physical "violent" activity does not).
i think it plays to interesting questions--and seeing as i love jungian theory, cultural studies, and gender studies, it's a question that i like to think about.
I really like this book called The Dangerous Book for Boys which teaches all kinds of interesting skills as play--skills that have been largely removed from the male lexicon in the last 20-30 years. |
|
| |
|
| I believe boys are different, and I think we should appreciate their positive masculinity, I cant see how treating boys the same as girls would work. Biologically they are different. Boys are usually better with clear instructions, girls with team work. Boys are more physical, and need lots more exercise than girls Boys have trestosterone which greatly influence behaviour, their brains function differently. Boys are more physical so we probably have to give them extra help with controling themselves from hitting, however girls are more vocal so we have to watch they dont use their verbal skills to belittle boys.
The book you are reading sounds fascinating, I have a book called raising boys by steve biddulph it is an excellent book if you have boys. It explains the different approaches needed for bringing up healthy boys - youve inspired me to read it again my boys have their summer holidays now and I need all the help I can get. I take it you got boys too?
Im also reading jung and yoga the psyche body connection by judith harris have you read that? |
|
| |
|
| Raquel, I have to disagree with you about boys being more physical than girls. My girls are very physical, one runs long distance and the other plays more in team sports like volleyball and soccer. If they don't get that outlet for their physical energy they get angry and aggressive, and if it continues, they'll get depressed. I'll definately agree that their brains work differently, but I can't agree that boys are more physical and that girls are more vocal. I'm forever telling my girls to speak up for themselves. |
|
| |
|
| Im not saying girls arnt physical they need exercise too, I was very active as a child. Gender differences are generalisations which are true enough most of the time to be helpful, boys are more active because of testosterone, some girls have a lot of testosterone but on the whole it is a boy thing. The reason why girls communicate better is because the left and right sides of the brain are connected better. (this is why we can multitask)
Ive had clients bring their young children in to the class,(when they have no child care) if they bring boys 9 times out of ten they will have to leave before the class is over because he cant sit still and weants to run around the class making lots of noise, if girls come in, 9 times out of ten she will sit and colour or try to join in.
Dont you believe in gender differences? |
|
| |
|
| raquel:
sorry that i did spell your name wrong in the last post. when i hit 'reply' i sometimes forget to whom i'm replying and how to spell their handle.
i do not have any children yet, but i do have a boy rabbit. i don't know, exactly, how he compares to girl rabbits, but he is very masculine in a very rabbity way.
i do believe in gender differences, but not necessarily 'gender roles' or applying unequal value to those roles and ideas. i think that this was one of the failings of early feminism--confusing women's value and women's roles, and in that process devaluing 'traditional' women's roles, something that many women actually quite like to do.
even so, i think that boys are in great crisis right now--as are men--and that the 20th century in particular has really stolen a lot of male life, particularly vibrant, full male adulthood.
i know many males who have vibrant, full male lives (and they are different and equal in value to female lives), but i know many many more who do not. i find that sad.
|
|
| |
|
| raquel - 2007-08-05 10:27 AM
The reason why girls communicate better is because the left and right sides of the brain are connected better.
The left brain/right brain theory is now widely recognised to be incorrect.
Jonathon
|
|
| |
|
| Hy Zoe,
I think you are right although the world no longer needs men who can wrestle buffalos, the masculine energy is still needed in an heroic way. Manuel and mechanical labour is seen as less important and the world seems quite anti-male, We need to tell our boys that is was men that built the planes, laid the railroad tracks, invented and made cars, built hospitals, invented medicines and sailed the ships that made it all happen. I think this is done by adding language and feeling skills to the thinking and doing skills. All the great heroes in history Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi were actually like this. They had courage and dtermination as well as sensitivity and love for others, and this is what is needed today !
Jonnie
I dont know were you got your info from, but I was under the impression it was more well known about the gender differences and why they exist. Its all in the hormanes and male genes.
Recent studies show that male brains work differently. boys tend to attack spelling quiz or word puzzle using only one side of their brain, girls use both. This is proved using (MRI) The lights go on all over a girls brain, only in aboys this is localised to one part of one side of the brain.
The brain of a baby before and and after birth grows like a tub of alfalfa sproats left in the sun, - brain cells keep getting longer and making new connections. The left half of the cortex grows more slowly than the right in all human babies, but males slower even still. The testosterone in a boy slows things down. Oestogen in baby girls speed it up. As the right side grows, it trys to make connectrions with the left. In boys the left half isnt ready yet, so the nerve cells reaching across from the right cannot find a place to plug in, so they go back to the right side and plug in there. As a result the right half of a boys brain is richer in internal connections but poorer in cross connections, this may explain why on the whole boys are better at maths which is predominantly a right side brain activity.
Because of their more connected brain halves, women who suffer strokes usually recover more speedily and completely than men. Girls who have learning problems improve quicker for the same reason. Boys are more prone to problems resulting from brain damage at birth. This may explain the greater number of boys with learning difficulties autism and other disorders.
By the way jonnie, I printed the interview that you Emailed me, it is a very interesting, read thanks, I noticed how it was intimated that yogic teachings etc were said to come from God or some other great being - extrordinary !
Edited by raquel 2007-08-05 12:36 PM
|
|
| |
|
| Hi Rachel,
I wasn't challenging you on gender difference, only commenting on the accuracy of the left/right brain theory.
The left/right brain theory was based on the work of Roger Sperry and experiements that he conducted in the 1950's. In light of more recent research, much of Sperry's work is now considered redundant.
Pop psychologists such as Alan Pease (ex insurance seller) and John Gray (relationship expert divorced five times) often mention it, as do many motivational speakers and human potential trainers, though you won't find a scientist give it any credence.
Scientific studies of the brain are moving so quickly that any book on brain science is usually out of date within a year.
...and who says boys are better at maths?
Jonathon
|
|
| |
|
| raquel - 2007-08-06 8:29 PM
By the way jonnie, I printed the interview that you Emailed me, it is a very interesting, read thanks, I noticed how it was intimated that yogic teachings etc were said to come from God or some other great being - extrordinary !
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
If we accept that Yogic science originated from the Vedas, the question then is where did the vedas come from?
Jonathon
|
|
| |
|
| The vedas come from God of course!! Seriously though were they wrote chronologically? and by how many people?
About the brain activity, I find it very hard to believe, that hormones would not play a part with brain activity, books are out of date, so I had a quick google to check my facts, and on on science daily it says that boys are maths gifted 6 - 13 times more than girls due to prenatal exposure to testosterone and its selective benefit to the right side of the brain. It goes on to say that there is no point in taking it when you are older, to sharpen the math, it will only build muscle!!!  |
|
| |
|
| Hi rachel,
Again, I'm not challenging or disagreeing with anything you have said here and I definately agree that we have a left and a right side to our brains
I'm only pointing to the validity of the L/R brain theory. By that I mean the idea that the left brain is only used for language, maths, logic, etc and the right brain is used for creativity, imagination etc.
Jonathon
|
|
| |
|
| Awwwhh, love a good debate Dont you believe in left and right sided brain people? |
|
| |
|
| No
|
|
| |
|
| Well youve got me on one, Im not sure now what I think I will reasearch and get back to you
( which side of my brain decided that!!)   |
|
| |
Faith Based Toys!!
