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| Fairly new to yoga and up until now everything has been positive. That all changed this morning. Experienced my first dark awakening and having trouble coping.
I performed my morning asanas, but went deeper than normal. Thought it was great until after I finished. Normally I do 3 to 5 rounds of sun salutations and then work on a few postures that I learned in class the previous week and maybe some leg stretches to work on my tight hamstrings. Today I did my rounds of sun salutations and continued with various warrior poses and triangle poses. I felt great when finished, showered and headed for work.
On the way to work it hit me like a ton of bricks and I wanted to pull over and cry. I have read about these experiences but never felt this for myself. I made it to work by chanting a release mantra but think this is only masking my experience and not truly dealing with it. Am feeling senses of anxiety and depression. Knew I would experience this sooner or later but never imagined this intensity. Tears have been welling up all morning and don’t know what to do. Any suggestions would be fantastic.
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| For me this works: Feel the feeling, experience it, and acknowledge it to be a feeling, not reality. Acknowledge it to be temporary, and allow yourself to feel it. Be thankful that you're open to be able to feel, you're not hard, cold, and closed off. All that helps me, and then it passes. In the future I'm able to feel positive things.
Edited by bstqltmkr 2007-09-13 11:34 AM
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| Now, that completed crying, take a small break and go with your friend to Starbucks or a Juice Shop and enjoy. And, forget about crying and trying to find why your cried. If this happens again, do the same thing again. Crying shall reduce and Coffee/Juice (I mean enjoyment) shall increase. |
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| I'm so thrilled that what I said and what Neel said aren't that different. I'm thankful for that.  |
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| kulkarnn - 2007-09-13 11:41 AM
Now, that completed crying, take a small break and go with your friend to Starbucks or a Juice Shop and enjoy. And, forget about crying and trying to find why your cried. If this happens again, do the same thing again. Crying shall reduce and Coffee/Juice (I mean enjoyment) shall increase.
I say this in trying to be of assistance to the original poster.
coffee would be a stimiulate and for some people may stimulate the mind more so it could actually increase these feelings that he is trying to deal with? I have read many places that yoga would rather the elimination of caffiene and stimulants |
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| Hey Tube: Coffee word above is symbolic, as the stocks are in Coffee now a days. Actually, Carrot Juice will be better. But, carrot juice is rare! |
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| bstqltmkr-Thanks for the help. I went off at lunch and tried this and it did help. Have also been chanting all day. |
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| I get the distinct sense something is being withheld in the original post.
Hector, did you leave something out of your description of your practice?
Are you doing pranayama in your practice?
What form of Surya Namaskar are you doing? Are you doing Savasana aftr? For how long?
What are the exact poses and sequence please?
And it is merrely SN and some standing poses that have cracked the nut for you?
It can be, of course, but my Spidey sense tells me something is being left out.
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| purnayoga-you are greatly testing my knowledge because I am new to yoga and trying to develop my home practice but this will help me learn more about my home practice and if I am doing something totally wrong. I am trying to develop my own thing from what I have learned in class so far. My postures lean towards Aunusara because this is the branch that I copy the most.
I start with 2 rounds of sun salutations from sivananda. It flows fairly well with my breath for each movement, like it is described. I then did 2 rounds of Surya Namaskar B, but hold each pose for a complete extra breath before moving into next pose. This sequence is newer to me and doesn’t flow quite as well but not too bad. After that it becomes fairly vague because I was working from memory of my last class. It was something like warrior 1 to triangle back to warrior 1 on both sides with each pose held for 5 breaths. I then do Savasana for at least 5 minutes. Hope this is exact enough for you.
I do take a Tri Yoga class on Tues. and have been chanting on and off all week. Could this have freed something loose? My chant has been: gate gate paragate parasomgate bohi svaha. I have calmed down and let go since this morning but am interested in trying to figure out what went on. I feel it was heart centered or a release of some kind. Any insight will be welcomed.
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| I'm so glad I was able to help you. My own experience was this: I grew up with a bad attitude as a teenager, and as a young adult I coped by being that cold hard person that I'm thankful not to be. When I had my children I wanted something better for them. A kinder mother for one thing, and I started working on myself. I think that when I had feelings of deep sorrow or depression a part of my cold cover was melting. I didn't dig too deeply in where it originated, reliving the past brought the experience back fresh, and with it fresh anger and anguish. Instead I was thankful to have the feelings, knowing that the future would be better for it. Today, yes I do get depressed on occasion, it's not as scary or as longlasting. It passes and I move on. I'm also not angry with people who've hurt me in the past, forgiveness is wonderful. Life is good and I'm thankful. Wish you well, Shelly |
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| Tests are good:-)
I personally am not too keen on mixing practices. Why? It makes it slightly confusing (for practice as there are contradictory instructions and intentions) and it makes it difficult to turn to someone for assistance as the hybrid nature of the practice makes it neither Meat nor Dairy.
It is possible you've had some release. It is also possible you had food poisoning or influenza.
Only some time will tell.
Since you are doing a flow (based on what you've shared) someone teaching that sort of thing might be better able to advise you in that regard. I say "flow" because it sounds as though you are not coming out of one pose then coming in to the next but rather creating a link or segue from one pose to the next, a very popular form these days.
Relative to chanting, mantras are tricky. Pronunciation is very critical and I've found myself incorrectly chanting the gaytri in such a way as to block light rather than welcome it. In this regard it is important to learn such powerful tools from an experienced teacher.
When we combine this yoga and that yoga it is not "bad". Early on it is experimentation and that is appropriate. Later on it becomes disrespectful of Yoga itself and its power or efficacy (unless we are merely adding some variance and diversity) and should not be played with as though it were aerobics.
Hector - 2007-09-13 8:29 PM
purnayoga-you are greatly testing my knowledge because I am new to yoga and trying to develop my home practice but this will help me learn more about my home practice and if I am doing something totally wrong. I am trying to develop my own thing from what I have learned in class so far. My postures lean towards Aunusara because this is the branch that I copy the most.
Edited by purnayoga 2007-09-14 10:31 AM
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| Thanks again Shelly. My childhood sounds similar to yours. I knew I closed my heart do to that, failed past relationships and the general state of the world. This is one thing I am working on, to open back up and let my joy out. I expected something like this to happen but it was a shock to experience. Next time it will be easier to handle do to everyone’s help and understanding. I know I have a lot to learn, but also understand it is a journey and not a race.
Purnayoga- I do like to flow as you speak of. I am limited in what I know so I almost have to combine classes to get my full share. I do combine sequences from different styles but I try to structure each individual pose towards Anusara.(does that make since?)
My Tri Yoga teacher is very knowledgeable, at the 500 hour credit level and has trained under some fascinating yogis/yoginis. Her class is very spiritual and that is why I enjoy her teachings. We chant every class and I have attended a Kirtan that she held. I do pay close attention to pronunciation and do enjoy this aspect very deeply. I respect that you challenge me because this makes me look deeper and helps me develop a better understanding of my practice.
Thanks again for everyone’s help and support!!
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| Sounds like a nervous breakdown to me. I have experienced a similar experience, though i never saw it coming. What are your stress levels like? Are you pushing yourself too hard? When was your last holiday? Etc etc
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| Planthelper-Don’t think it was stress related. My job is not very stressful and I live alone so I have no family issues to deal with on a daily bases. Try to live a pretty simple life.
I practice asanas almost daily but listen to my body and take days off when I feel the need. I think I did press myself that morning. I took the next day off to let things settle down. Like I mentioned before, I am working towards opening my heart and believe it was a release of some sort. It took about a day, but I have gotten over it and feel great again.
I will attend my weekly anusara class later this morning. That class is very heart centered so I am interested to see what will happen. Think I am attending my second Kirtan tonight and found the first one very uplifting. Will attend my first weekend retreat next weekend, which is held by my Tri Yoga instructor, and am greatly looking forward to that. Have talked to people in class that have been to previous retreats by this teacher and they say it is fantastic! I greatly appreciate everyone’s thoughts
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Dark Awakening
