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| I have been practicing yoga for about 6 years now, and I have had a fairly consistent practice for the most part in the last 3-4 months my practice has slowly decreased..i was taking fairly advanced classes and then began to feel aches where I hadn’t felt them before.. then I met a teacher that guided me to take things a little slower.. so I began to go back to taking beginner classes slowling it down a bit..which has been nice but sometimes I feel my body wanting to do more, so here I am caught between, not waiting to do more advanced in a beginners class b/c I didn’t know if that was ok.. Questioning myself, my practice…not what I have ever felt before
I also had to leave a class a few minutes early one day and the teacher yelled at me for doing so, which made me feel like I was the worst yogi alive…. This has disrupted my practice immensely.. so I have been trying hard to create a home practice but struggle daily with this.. I created a space in my house with an altar and it looks beautiful but when I sit on my mat.. I practice for a little it feels amazing but I am finding no consistency… with the new year approaching… I want this to be my goal..create my home practice and make my regular practice more regular with finding the right teacher to guide me.
i have never in 6 years felt this way And its really bothering me
I know my post is all over the place but these are things that have been caught up in my mind and needed to express..
Thank you any advice is well appreciated.
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| I've been in your same position, even though I haven't been practicing as many years as you have. It's quite frustrating, I do admit. What I ended up doing was finding another studio, with another style of yoga that suited me much better. Since every person is so different, for me to suggest to you the style I gravitated to probably won't be of any use, though knowing that change and growth within one's practice is a normal and natural and completely desirable thing. Go with your instincts. And certainly, don't continue studying with a teacher who makes you feel bad about yourself. My first teacher, if I had gone to her with these questions, would've given me the simplest and most well-meaning response of "meditate on it". In other words, look deep inside yourself and you'll find the answer there. This was exactly the advice I took when I felt confronted with the same questions you have. I no longer study with this teacher, but remember her teachings and wisdom constantly. Good luck to you. |
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| Deb, I feel for you and empathize. Only having my practice to base this on, I'm thinking at your 6 year point, it's time to take a different path. Six to 7 years in a human life seems to be the physical, emotional, and mental max for we humans before we have our minds and bodies pulling us in new directions. Good for you wanting to establish a regular home practice; however, from your short explanation, I don't think you're mentally ready to do that only--I think you need and want that teacher in a class at least on occasion. I just don't think you'd be happy totally on your own. But for gosh sakes, don't get one who yells at you for needing to leave early and in ANY case, do not feel that you're a bad yogi--you're a good yogi for not telling her to kiss your patoot or decking her. |
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| Bruce - 2007-12-27 3:10 PM Six to 7 years in a human life seems to be the physical, emotional, and mental max for we humans before we have our minds and bodies pulling us in new directions. Heh, I must be advanced. I pulled away after only 3. 
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| I suggest you go to an experienced teacher who has taught hundreds and then explain him/her your situation and take a limited instruction to work on where you want to reach and to get opinion of the teacher as well. Better take a few privates in your case. You need someone who can understand you better.
zenergy47 - 2007-12-27 2:07 PM
I have been practicing yoga for about 6 years now, and I have had a fairly consistent practice for the most part in the last 3-4 months my practice has slowly decreased..i was taking fairly advanced classes and then began to feel aches where I hadn’t felt them before.. then I met a teacher that guided me to take things a little slower.. so I began to go back to taking beginner classes slowling it down a bit..which has been nice but sometimes I feel my body wanting to do more, so here I am caught between, not waiting to do more advanced in a beginners class b/c I didn’t know if that was ok.. Questioning myself, my practice…not what I have ever felt before
I also had to leave a class a few minutes early one day and the teacher yelled at me for doing so, which made me feel like I was the worst yogi alive…. This has disrupted my practice immensely.. so I have been trying hard to create a home practice but struggle daily with this.. I created a space in my house with an altar and it looks beautiful but when I sit on my mat.. I practice for a little it feels amazing but I am finding no consistency… with the new year approaching… I want this to be my goal..create my home practice and make my regular practice more regular with finding the right teacher to guide me.
i have never in 6 years felt this way And its really bothering me
I know my post is all over the place but these are things that have been caught up in my mind and needed to express..
Thank you any advice is well appreciated.
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| you are totally right.. its like I REALLY want to have this home practice.. but I know inside I wouldn’t be solely happy with only that.
I know that I need to look inside and decide on my own but for the first time in a long time I am having such an issue with that, and feel I don’t have anyone super close to me as a teacher besides myself that I can question.. which in the long run.. I am the only teacher that matters to me…part of me feels like who am I to go and change my practice.. “is that ok?” “ is that the direction I want go?” is it ok to check out different types and not stick to one type of yoga?” isn’t it all yoga in the end.. sometimes I feel like I want to a vigurious vinyasa if I had a stressful day?” then other times I just want a restorative, or astanhga b/c I know that what comes next…. I also feel like for the past 6 years.. vinyasa is all I knew now I have read more and am more interested in learning different styles.
Is that bad.. to jump around? Why do I question my yoga practice..
Back to the teacher that told me not to leave early….i had never experienced this before.. I also might mention that I have been teaching for 2 years.. and have had students leave my class early.. that’s ok.. she really pissed me off.. in the mix of me trying to figure my own practice.. I have taken time away from teaching.. its been a little over a month now and haven’t taught one class… I miss it.. and my students miss my class. they have e mailed to tell me and I have heard through the studio.. I just don’t feel right teaching if I don’t know where I am in my own practice.. has any other teacher felt this way?? Or do I continue to teach and maybe this will clear my head??
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| I surely don't know all the answers kiddo but your questioning to me seems to be a great thing. What's wrong with following up on your curiosity? Heck, go sample all kinds of classes from Bikram to Kundalini, from ashtanga primary to restorative and so on. It can only serve to make you a better teacher. And if that's not immediately in the cards, you'll be a better student. I 've only been teaching regularly for a couple of years and I've been on the "am I worthy" rolercoaster several times. I think it's natural to doubt how good we are especially when you read the wit & wisdom of others we may feel are SO much more qualified. However, that's the case in every occupation/vocation--is there ONE best musician (well, yeah, Clapton); is there ONE best actor (well, yeah, Anthony Hopkins); is there ONE best candidate for U.S. President (well, yeah but Regan's dead). All kidding aside, perhaps you aren't nor ever will be the best yoga teacher who ever lived but you can be the best yoga teacher you can be. And I'm thinking that by questioning, you're a pretty darn good one. Why do you question? Honestly I don't know--has to be the way you were "raised" from a yogic perspective; either told specificially or perceived as such that a certain way is the only way. We enlightened ones know better (OK, I'm just kidding about me being enlightened). |
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| i agree that questioning is a great thing. it leads to answers and more questions. but when questioning, just take a breath and realize that it's just a question, not a judgment!
for my own part, i've practiced whatever style my mother learned from her aunt who probably learned from Walt Baptiste et al in San Fran back in the 60s. then, i practiced kripalu, iyengar, and kundalini simultaneously. i really got jazzed by vinyasas, and started in on power vinyasa (baptiste, i love full circles) and astanga simultaneously.
and then i developed my own hybrid of all of this--in my home practice (i had a home practice all along and took various classes 1-4 times a week depending upon the time, availability, what i was studying or whatever).
and then i got into Dharma Mittra--which is sivananda--and now i'm exploring ana forest, shadow yoga, and a bit if yin (i hate the title though) and svaroopa, with no real direction in which way i'm going yet with that--if i want a teacher, if i'll find one, etc.
i am enjoying DM immensely though.
and it's call couched in my home practice, which is constantly in flux--growing, changing, learning, scrapping things that don't seem to work, picking them up again later if i'm interested.
part of the reason, btw, that people get injured as they move to more advanced classes is because they're not taking it progressively. they're ready at one level, but not at other levels, and they push too far. many teachers teach advanced postures before they really understand them, and before they understand how to assess and progress a student from where they are now to where the posture is eventually.
i've backed students off of postures, and slowly brought them back up to trying a modified version, and then working on the alignment in various ways, and then "voila!" one day they wake up and it's like a miracle!
so, your friend/teacher's advice about "going back" or slowing down was right, but you may have stepped too far back. you might just need to do as neel says, and find someone who can teach you, specifically.
and, you know where i am if you're interested. Green Jello had a good time hanging out anyway.  I'm going to NZ in Feb, you're welcome to come. we're going to talk about how to progress a practice there. |
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| Seems to me it is merely a sign that your yoga practice is creating growth for you.
What would be of more concern is if over 6 years you did NOT feel differently, did NOT have to confront anything, did NOT notice some discomforts, opting instead to bathe only in what others might erroneously call "nirvana". It is a misnomer or misperception that our "practice" should only deliver joy, should only bring us bliss, should only make us feel woozy as though we're an adolescent downing our first glass of wine.
It is to us to find joy in the things that do come, whether they are woozy and blissful or whether they are one of life's paper cuts.
Questioning your practice, your life, and yourself as a yogi is appropriate, very appropriate...as long as it doesn't become obsessive or self-flagelating in nature. Evaluate but do not dwell. Look but do not stare. Contemplate but do not grip the brain.
Changing gears a bit here...
What is your intention behind creating an altar? Are you a Buddhist? What is the connection between your practice and this altar?
As far as a teacher "yelling" at you for departing class early, well that depends on several things. One, was the teacher actually yelling? Did the teacher know you'd be leaving early before the class begun? That is, did this leaving occur in relationship with the teacher? Are you one who chronically leaves early or arrives late? I only intervene with students when their early departure or tardy arrival becomes a pattern. Once or twice is not worth engagement. Perhaps the teacher is not the right one for you. Or perhaps it is exactly the right teacher for you.
Relative to beginning classes and intermediate classes I think that's one you'll have to find for yourself. I personally enjoy beginning classes in the appropriate style and relish the foundational work. |
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| I think I disagree with the person who suggested you're not ready for a home practice. You sound absolutely, unquestionably ready, and I bet once you establish it you'll feel amazing. That said, perhaps you benefit from the communal atmosphere of a class setting (I know I do), so maybe you could make a deal with yourself to do most of your yoga at home and supplement with a class at a studio here or there. There comes a time when you really are your own best teacher, and if you're finding yourself frustrated with the studio politics (or feeling indignant about being yelled at), you could always try finding another studio, but chances are, you'll encounter a new set of frustrations there. It's bound to happen any time when human beings get together at all, but particularly in a business setting. Experiment with a yoga practice that is solitary and impulsive.
One more thing: you mention feeling aches and pains. I can really relate to this, as I personally had to back off vinyasa quite a bit (that was the style I started in, and received my training in). Vinyasa is tough on the body, I think. Especially if you are a self-driven person and you tend to push yourself to the limits in a class setting. I have a bit of a competitive streak, also a need to please, and I found myself overdoing it sometimes in vinyasa classes b/c you feed off all that collective energy, and from the teacher's intense instruction. You might be pleasantly surprised what a good workout you can get at home without all the added injuries.
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| i am new to yoga but your post reminded me of my climbing career.
i have been climbing for a long time now, so long that it is now a part of my identity and not just a way to spend my time.
about 5 years into it i came into quite a funk. i wasn't climbing as hard as i was accustomed to. i wasn't climbing as much and was feeling more fear on teh rock and frustration than ever before.
i was becoming a bummer to be around and my not only my suffered but my friendships too.
so i took a break and did other stuff, (including yoga) one of which was taking beginner climbers out on the rock. within a few weeks i was feeling happy to be out on the rock. i was climbing easy stuff for me as my new friends were pushiing themselves to the absolute limit. i saw that same joy in the beginners that i almost lost. after a few months i was climbing better than ever with my old climbing buddies.
now i climb pretty much anywhere on any type of rock. with absolute noobies and season veterans who do pinky pull ups to stay in shape (not me).
for me, slowing down and playing with my climbing identity took me to new parts of myself and my climbing. i think i enjoy teaching climbing more than climbing really hard these days, but i do love pushing my limits. so maybe you can take a peek at the beginner board. with 6 years of practice i am sure you have heaps of tips and expertise that many of us would love to partake in.
just a thought
casey |
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Expert Yogi
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| deb - going through a transition like this is tough. I don't envy you! OTOH, I must thank you for bringing it up, as the discussion has been great!
There does seem to be a natural cycle of interest, enthusiasm, disenchantment and moving on when it comes to our interests in life. It is one of the reasons I strenuously urge parents not to become too attached to the idea of their young children excelling in a sport or activity too early in life. If you start something at age 4, the odds that you will still be interested in it past age 10 or 11 are pretty slim. Of course with children, other factors come into play, but I have observed it in adults many, many times. My own DH was a wildly enthusiastic water skier when I met him about 35 years ago. Then he played basketball, then sailed, then ran, then became a triathlete, an adventure racer and now a ballroom dancer. There were a few other factors, but looking back on it all now, I see that it was generally just time for him to change. I am working hard to make sure he doesn't lose his interest in in dancing, because it is the first thing that we do primarily together. Plus I have a lot of $ tied up in wardrobe and shoes! 
As far as yoga goes, I have had issues with my practice for some time now. However, I feel yoga is part of me now and not something I can move on from. I have recently changed the classes I attend, changed the type of workshops I go to and adjusted my home practice as well. I am fortunate that I can do all of that within the style I practice. Geeta Iyengar is coming to teach nearby in the spring, so that will be a BIG incentive to turn everything up a few notches. She has a tendency to get the class into a pose and then launch into a 5 minute lecture. 
You DO need a home practice at this point and you do need to be able to vary it knowledgeably to meet your changing needs. But a home practice without guidance from a trusted teacher would be very difficult to maintain. Remember that your home practice is your OWN. There are no rules except what you know to be proper practice. If you want to do all standing poses one day, go for it. Just don't do 30 minutes of drop over headstand without some quieting closing poses and savasana (BTDT - not a good idea  )
Do let us know how it goes and what your personal solution is.  |
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| I'm puzzled by your posts.
You say you teach - but do not have a teacher of your own???
I think this might be an example of an east-west yoga disconnect. My understanding from starting my own teacher training is that you do not stop learning once you become a teacher. Ideally maintaining a one-on-one relationship with a teacher - even if not seen regularly - due to distance. And failing that one would hope that you have some kind of relationship with a mentor.
I also think the idea of personal practice is different as people discuss it here. My personal practice is a very specific one created by my teacher. I do it every day - and it only changes when I meet with him again. It is meant to address very specific issues. I think the popular version of a personal practice is doing whatever you want at home. I used to agree with this - but now actually am beginning to think there is more risk in someone doing whatever they want at home without direction and someone to check in with.
Instead of looking for a new style - why not look for a dedicated teacher that you can develop a one on one relationship with????
You might also consider reading the Heart of Yoga by TKV Desikachar - the subtitle of the book is "Developing a Personal Practice."
Best wishes.
Vic |
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questioning myself as a yogi..
