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Miss the ashram blues :(
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larabear
Posted 2008-01-06 11:33 PM (#101569)
Subject: Miss the ashram blues :(


I did my training in Kerela, India at the Sivananda Forest Academy there. We (our group of about 100 teacher trainers) lived at the ashram there following the Gurukula system- which basically means that you live, breathe and sleep yoga, meditation, sanscrit class, kirtan chanting, and Yogic philosophy class, and karma yoga.

At first as our Swami G's stated "Is like concentration camp!"
after the first 2 weeks, the mind and body and ego stops protesting and then becomes pure, blissful, and light and "you will say, I never want to leave!"
ANd Swami G says, you have to leave, to spread this light.
BUt he also said you go into the world and carry this satvic energy by maintaining your practice, but sometimes you will find you need to recharge at a satvic place here in the mountains or near where you can find a place, out of the city.

I think I am in need of a recharge.

After India I tried intergrating back in the US- but was WAYYY culture shocked coming back- In India there was so much ritual and sacredness to such every day little things, and everything we did was so sacred. HEr nothing seemed sacred, everything here seemed soo harsh, the mighty dollar glorified, and the fast pace buzz was that of stress and illusion- there everything can be stopped for days- at first it is alarming when your 4:15 train comes in finally at 8:35, or not at all!! And as an American, you are angry, but after a while in India, you start to change and relax- truly, and everything is seen as an opportunity.
THings slow down, and in the time-warp, reality is attained. I can't explain it well.

SO I fled to Canada!
I stayed at the Sivananda Ashram in Qubec for another 2 months until fleeing to Mexico with a lost lover~ to learn the circus art of silks and to try to help a dying woman, but that is a different story all together.

In Canada, in the mountains, in the fresh crisp air of purity and wholesomeness I found peace.
I found community. I was held. Back to the living breathing, being yoga. Except in Canada the Karma Yoga was intense long hours and great. Big projects like painting a house and weeding at the Subramanya temple alone in the hot sun. At first I felt so alone. BUt after a while of the routine and practice in this GuruKula system, you feel held. I can't explain the feeling of truly feeling belonging and egolessness at the same time. My fellow ashram devotees- were so full of light and love. Pure and clear. I miss it so much. SOmetimes I feel like I lived a million lives- and if I really try, I can remember the feeling of sitting by the old house/ cottage in the Samahdi Estates that Swami Vishnu Devananda Built with his bare hands with the devotees. DO you know the story of this Swami?

I wish to tell a small piece. He used to ride planes over the Berlin Wall in the 60's in his psychedelic plane. He travelled to all countries with his "peace passport" that he made himself and no one ever stopped him!
Their were stories from the older swami's that he would walk on his hands from the office all the way to the peace plane museum up on the hill overlooking the valley.

ANyhow, I remember as it turned from hot summer to fall that year how I never wanted that feeling of total peace and love to leave me, how by his house by the pond sometimes I'd turn and see Ambika- the flower wizard of the ashram capable of growing incredible gardens and more, would suddenly be sitting there next to the Durga statue and she would tell me about how they would sink old statues to the bottom of the pond, and how it was filled with the,- I don't remember why!
I remember sometimes they would hold pujas there and we would sneak into the kitchens and have some toast and jam and feel so devious for such a treat!
And then during puja feeling completely one with God. TO me the ashram is GOd. It is a satvic holy state of feeling held. SO alone, and so held.

hmmmmmm.
i miss it...

I should scoop up Zoe and spend a week with her there, it would be soooo good for my little one to feel her mommy so calm there and for herself to be so peaceful and free there.

I can't imagine ever having felt soooo beautiful, free, like a child of God, so safe, and even with such a strict regiment of practice.
I remember th Aryuvedic priest in India giving a talk one day saying- you shouldn't wake up in the morning, slow and lazy like a cat, but rather wake up fast and quick, like a dog!
ANd at night you should not get into bed, but rather have had such a full day of work and practice, that your boidy and mind has nothing left but to fall down into your bed every night form blissful exhaustion!!!

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kulkarnn
Posted 2008-01-07 7:49 AM (#101576 - in reply to #101569)
Subject: RE: Miss the ashram blues :(


Wonderful reading. Thank you.
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larabear
Posted 2008-01-07 2:25 PM (#101620 - in reply to #101576)
Subject: RE: Miss the ashram blues :(


The name of this story should be "From Heaven to Hell and then back to Earth again"
I rsl


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mishoga
Posted 2008-01-08 8:18 AM (#101652 - in reply to #101569)
Subject: RE: Miss the ashram blues :(



Expert Yogi

Posts: 1738
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Lara, I can feel the calm as I read your words. That must be so.............is there really a word to describe it?
I hope to one day find that peace. My fear is I will like it so much that I will forever remove myself from this life I presently live. I love silence, peace, non-speech, being alone. I truly need downtime to recharge but would choose to live more alone and quiet if it were physically possible.
Maybe in my later years.
Thank you for sharing. You are fortunate to have that sacred time to reflect upon.
In Metta
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larabear
Posted 2008-01-08 2:12 PM (#101679 - in reply to #101652)
Subject: RE: Miss the ashram blues :(


funny! Because I don't feel remotely peaceful as of lately!
BUt I know what you mean- If you are near any Sivananda ashrams- I highly recomend a recharge there- they are very inexpensive to visit, and free if you are willing to make a comitment of 2 months or more- in most places,
compared to kripalu Center in Lenox- the charge for the nght is a fraction of the cost, and the ashram, well is an ashram and no where nearly as comercial.
L
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